Yes, all thoughts of keeping an updated blog since last April have of course flown out the window.  No longer will I promise to keep anything updated as long as I'm in school.  Summer has come and gone and I'm back in classes once more.  Math (of course), English and Photography (again).  The first because let's face it, I think I will always be taking math, the second because I need it to achieve my general associates and the last because I have a lot of printing that I need to do and this is the easiest and cheapest way to go about it!  Seriously!

I've went off of my antidepressants.  The reason why I went on them 5 years ago no longer holds true so I figure it's time to live life without them again.  I'm doing well, although I'm hoping my anxiety doesn't get the best of me.  I worry.  I fret.  It's who I am.

The kids are all doing great.  Emily and Mary are both getting older and it hurts my heart to see them so stiff legged and not well.  This past summer we thought we'd do Emily a favor and buy her a little wading pool and she ADORED it.  However I was neglectful and never dried her ears out after she went swimming and now she has a raging infection in one of them.  Of course I discover this tidbit on the Friday afternoon BEFORE a long holiday weekend so the next available appt was for Wednesday afternoon.  I feel absolutely terrible for letting it get as bad as it is.  She never complains about it so I never suspected…and who lifts their doggies ear up on a regular basis to peer inside?  So she's in a world of discomfort right now and I feel so bad because of it.

The kitties are awesome….all 7 of them although I think I need to figure out a different way of feeding Miss Athena upstairs because she's in such a small room all the time she doesn't get as much exercise as she needs and so she's getting a couple extra unneeded pounds on her.  I don't like abusing my critters in the manner in which I myself am afflicted so I'm researching on the best way to handle that.  Maybe a different kitty food and only feeding twice daily.  We'll see.

So that's that.  I guess my life is pretty dull and therefore doesn't really NEED a lot of updates at the moment.  Maybe someday.

Today I turned 40 years old.  I think back to me 20 years ago and think, wow, things are sure a lot different from what I'd had envisioned in my head.  Would I change some things?  I'd love to say yes…but in reality, no.  If anything had went differently I'd not be who I am today.  Does that mean that I don't regret some of the choices that I made?  Of course not.  But I like who I've become, I like where I am now, and I love what I'm doing with my life.

Am I sad that I don't have any human kids?  Sometimes.  But what can I do?  It is what it is and it is what it is.

Happy birthday to me.

It's funny how kids try desperately to emulate adults in their social behavior.  I was sitting in Starbucks and these kids were sitting in front of me doing something (who knows what) on the computer.  Initially it was just the girl in the black jacket and the guy.  She must have gotten a call from her mom and judging from the girl's side of the conversation her mom was wanting her to be home by her curfew and the girl was frustrated with that.  When she got off of the phone she says to the guy that her mom was just "yelling at her".  Now, I'm pretty sure that her mom really wasn't yelling at her but the way that teens blow things out of proportion to look cooler in front of their friends really makes me giggle.

Then her friend joins them and shortly after they all left.

Teen's mom is worried about her, teen wants to be treated like an adult, teen's mom is being a mom, teen is being a teen…the world is as it should be.

Is your teen like this?  So ready to leave the nest and so not yet ready to do the same?

So much has happened since I last checked in.  Well, it seems to me that so much has happened but to others it's probably just another day...

Kurt and I bought a house.  It's adorable, it was well in our price range and the backyard is HUGE for the kids.  Best of all, we're saving over $300/month in mortgage payments as opposed to what we were paying for rent.  Gotta like that!

The downside is that it's a fixer upper.  Not really a DOWNside so much as its a work in progress.  The walls all throughout need to be painted, that's on the top of the priority list.  As well as adding an additional power outlet in each room.  It's an old house, built in 1949, so it's original wood flooring and quirky doors and such but the best part is that it's ours.

We've also added 5 (yes 5) kittens to our family.  It started out with the 2 that I kept that I fostered last summer, and they're almost 6 months old now...and then I temp fostered 5 kittens in December and we had to keep 3 of them (we wanted to keep them all but we just couldn't).  So now we've got 5 kittens all under 6 months.  2 are almost 6 mths and 3 are 8 weeks.  ALL of them are freakin' adorable.  And, since I've handraised them all, from bottlefeeding every 2 hours 24/7 to teaching them to eat solids and use the litter box, I'm mommy to them...they're lap kitties and love snuggles.  I adore them.  :)

Mary and Emily still aren't getting along so we're not even trying to push it with them.  We keep them separated at all times now, which means that we'll need to put off fostering children until (god forbid) one of them crosses the rainbow bridge.  We can't have any accidents with leaving doors open or whatnot.  We switch days as to who gets to spend the majority of the daytime in the main part of the house and who's separated...they both get time in the main part during the day but we switch them out so that they get time with not just me but Kurt, too.

The new semester is starting now.  With buying a house and all last semester I was just not very present at all in my brain so hoping that this coming one will go over better for me.  This semester I didn't get to class sign ups in time so I'm taking math (of course), which I've already taken but I'm re-taking it so that I'm better able to grasp the concepts.  I tried taking the next class but I was so lost and ended up dropping it.  I'm also taking 2 art classes.  I know, I know.  Ceramics, which I hate, and Advanced Digital Photography.  It should be an interesting semester!

Something else that is happening for us is that Kurt and I signed up with Big Brothers Big Sisters so we'll be getting our "Littles" in a couple of weeks after our FBI checks come back.  Can't be too careful when it comes to working with kidgets.  We're really excited to work with kids who need a good role model and mentor.

Do you get the feeling that even society's idea of the ideal plus size woman is not really plus size but actually just a few pounds heavier than a size 8?  Seriously?  I remember when a certain fashion magazine had this photo in their mag and it was such a huge deal for people that there were fatties in the mag.  But hello!  When I think FAT, I do not think size 10 or 12.  I think size 20+.  These women are NORMAL, people!  They're not the size 0's that magazines love to use normally and so to the fashion world they look fat.  They're NOT fat.  They look like our neighbors, teachers, mail carriers, and baristas.  What they don't look like are fatties.  COME ON fashion world!  Let's actually move the fatties up to the top for some real recognition.  THEN we can talk!

I was doing a google search on plus size poses for photography and there's all kinds of perverted crap that comes up.  Do a search for just modeling photo poses and there's all sorts of hits.  What a shame that the world, although it claims to be getting better, is so hung up on size.  SIZE MATTERS but only in some things....and you ladies know what I'm talkin' about.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.  Haha!

I've had to sparingly use my weight loss shakes over the past month due to budget cuts so I'm not getting in the right amount of healthy calories that I should be.  Add that to that old plateau from a while back and going off of Phentermine (I've got a new Rx from my doctor that I'm waiting for payday to fill) and I've put on a few pounds again.  No, I've not gained it all back.  In fact, when I went to the dr. a couple of weeks ago I'd only gained back 7...but still, who wants to see the damn scale go up and not down, right?

The good thing, though, is that although I've been off of my blood pressure meds for several months now my BP was low when I went in.  Instead of being something in my old usual range of around 130-something / 90-something it was 113/73.  I was stoked to say the least!

One of my classes that I'm taking in the fall is an aerobics class.  I'm really super excited to start.  It's probably gonna kick my ass to start but I'm down for it!  Most definitely!

Happy 4th, peeps!  Hope you're having a better time than I am!

Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like had you taken a right instead of a left?  Went straight instead of turned around?  Took one job offer instead of another?

I'm involved these days with dog rescue and transport and fostering.  I'm still volunteering at the SPCA but it's not as often due to my new interests!  I probably make a couple trips each month to Battle Mountain to pull doggies on death row and bring them back to either temp foster or hand off to a new foster family.  It's a satisfying way to feel as though I'm doing something good for the critters out there.

Unfortunately, our newest member that we adopted after my first trip out there has a fascination like you wouldn't believe for birds.  It ended up as Daisy's demise as Mary got a hold of her purely accidentally and killed our birdie.  :(  We've been without Daisy for about 3 weeks now and we still cry when we think about her.  I miss my baby birdie girl.

That being said, it's July now.  And with July in the desert comes high temps.  It just makes me glad we don't live down in Southern NV.  I don't think we'd be able to survive without A/C down there.  It's bad enough up here!  The dogs are listless during the day and perk up in the evening when it gets cooler outside.  Shoot, if it weren't for creepy crawlies outside I'd camp out with blankets at night!  But I don't have a hankering for sleeping with earwigs or firebugs.  Bleh.

I had typed up a big ol' update a few days ago and then my program crashed and I lost it.  Ugh.  So here I go again.
Firstly, let me apologize for disappearing as I have.  It's been a crazy past couple of months.  Seriously.  I'm not making that up!
The Spring semester has ended and I'm in my 2nd week of summer break.  I'm so stoked for this break.  I thought math was going to break me, I swear!  I thought last semester was rough, well kick it up a few notches and that's the difficulty of this last class.  And it's only going to get worse!  I'll be living at the tutoring center in the Fall; that'll be that.
Of course I did swell in both my Writing Fiction and Digital Photography class.  I've got some great photos that I need to put into frames and hang up now.  We're talking some kickass pictures!  Not because of the class...but because I had time to actually go through pics from the past year and print them out in class.  So nice when you have a great photo printer worth thousands of buckeroos at your disposal!
As far as weight loss goes...the plateau that I'd hit really hit me hard.  Not only was I not losing weight, but I was losing momentum in a big way.   I was trying not to, but when you don't lose for well over a month, you lose steam.  Needless to say, I fell into the typical rut that those who lose weight fall into for a while.  It didn't help with all of the stress going on from school and such, either, and I easily started to give a day up here and there with exercise...until finally I wasn't exercising at all.  NOT GOOD when trying to lose weight.
No fear, fellow fatties, I'm back.  Well, technically I never left, but I'm back for a few months again.  Regularly until school's back in again.  You know how it goes.  I'm back on the treadmill daily.  Forcing myself to not take Sundays off again so that I get back into the habit again.  When I feel I'm good and ready, I'll give myself that one day off again.  Until then...I'm full force and gung-ho.  It's not fair that us fatties have to always worry about falling off of the wagon, so to speak.  No matter if we reach our goal...we always have to be in hyper-awareness mode of what we're eating, how much, and when....we will never be free from being fat, not really.  Not fair at all.  In fact, it downright sucks.  I want to be one of those people with the magic metabolism.  Of course I will never be...so here I am, doing what I can with what I've got.
Still no work to be found and we're entering summer where the pickings are slim in the bank, as well.  We're usually tight during the summer until my first part of my student loan comes through.  I really wish I could find SOMETHING.  I am trying to keep busy in the meantime.  I'm still volunteering a lot at the SPCA, we're in the process of moving to a new location.  Bigger and better.  Yay!  I'm also involved in animal transport and have done a few of those now, as well.  Which leads me to my next big news...
K and I would love to introduce you to our new family member...merry Mary.

She's part Chow-Chow part Golden Retriever.  She's got the sweet and loving personality of a Golden, and the fluffiness of a Chow.  We couldn't have been more lucky in a new family member.  She's Emily's age, 11 years, and so she's old and creaky.  Her hips are not what they used to be, I'm sure, and she stumbles or loses her balance from time to time...but she's got lots of kisses and love for anyone she meets and Emily and Peaches are slowly getting used to having her as part of our family.  Mary came into our lives through my transporting some doggies from Battle Mountain County Animal Shelter which is about a 3 hour drive East of Reno.  I didn't leave home expecting to be bringing home a new family member...but she was going to be put down if I didn't pull her, and nobody's shown any interest at all in her being's that she was so old.  K and I have a soft spot for older doggies...they need a loving home in their final years.  That's the least that we can do for them.  So Mary came home with me, along with the two other dogs that I was transporting.  We took her to the vet within a day of her arrival and she got all of her shots and then took her to the groomer where she was thinned out and shampooed.  After that, it was like her entire demeanor went from blue to perky.  She literally prances and dances and shakes her head in joy.  She's such a blessing to us...and will continue to be so.
So that brings me to today.  Now.  Things are pretty much the same as usual.  K celebrated his 51st birthday and so we had a dinner/movie date...something that we haven't done for months and months since there's just not money for that kind of thing.  It was nice to get out with my sweetie pie and just be together without worrying about the kids.
So that's what's been happening with me.  As I mentioned, now that it's Summertime, I will be updating on a more regular basis again.

There's an old country song by Trisha Yearwood from the 90's that talks about how you can be going along in your life and suddenly you'll hear a song come on that totally takes you back to a specific time and place. I'm sure you all know what I'm referring to.

I was standin' at the counter
I was waitin' for the change
When I heard that old familiar music start
It was like a lighted match
Had been tossed into my soul...

So anyway, I heard a song the other day (not the one I just referred to) that totally reminded me of a totally different time in my life. I was 20 years old and I had nothing but a bright future ahead of me. I had plans and dreams and I thought I was in love. It's funny how things never go quite how you imagined them to go. The twists and turns that life takes you through end up taking you to a completely different spot than you ever thought you'd be at. Would I change some of the things from the past 20 years? You bet I would! Or would I? If I knew that ultimately I would be right here where I'm at now, happy and in love with my wonderful husband and our kids, would I really change anything? Would you?

I know, I know, I've been terrible with writing lately, dear blog, but I have a good reason. M-A-T-H. That's right, math. It's kicking my ass right now and I've been trying to use spare moments to study. I've even stopped going over to the SPCA so much and use that time to study. I have a test coming up on Wednesday and I will admit that I'm worried. The material that it's covering is stuff that I'm just not grasping as fast as I'd like and, well, that creates a lot of stress in my life. The other day I had a break down in a coffee shop that I was studying at. I just started crying because I didn't understand what I was doing and I didn't know how to make myself understand. It's a very frustrating feeling. Needless to say, I've made tutoring appointments for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday before classes to go over all of it in the hopes that I'll be able to grasp it a little better.

As far as weight loss goes, I'm still stuck in my plateau. Or I have been, anyway. Tomorrow is my weigh-in so we'll see how I've done this week. It's getting pretty discouraging, to be quite honest. In three months I've lost about 10 pounds, whereas the previous 3 months I lost a LOT more.

So that's it, blog. I told you I had a good reason for being gone for so long. When it comes down to it, studying has priority over pretty much everything else, as of late. I will tell you, though, that I'm looking forward to summer break when I can hang out at the SPCA more and worry less about math. Blah.