Yes, all thoughts of keeping an updated blog since last April have of course flown out the window.  No longer will I promise to keep anything updated as long as I'm in school.  Summer has come and gone and I'm back in classes once more.  Math (of course), English and Photography (again).  The first because let's face it, I think I will always be taking math, the second because I need it to achieve my general associates and the last because I have a lot of printing that I need to do and this is the easiest and cheapest way to go about it!  Seriously!

I've went off of my antidepressants.  The reason why I went on them 5 years ago no longer holds true so I figure it's time to live life without them again.  I'm doing well, although I'm hoping my anxiety doesn't get the best of me.  I worry.  I fret.  It's who I am.

The kids are all doing great.  Emily and Mary are both getting older and it hurts my heart to see them so stiff legged and not well.  This past summer we thought we'd do Emily a favor and buy her a little wading pool and she ADORED it.  However I was neglectful and never dried her ears out after she went swimming and now she has a raging infection in one of them.  Of course I discover this tidbit on the Friday afternoon BEFORE a long holiday weekend so the next available appt was for Wednesday afternoon.  I feel absolutely terrible for letting it get as bad as it is.  She never complains about it so I never suspected…and who lifts their doggies ear up on a regular basis to peer inside?  So she's in a world of discomfort right now and I feel so bad because of it.

The kitties are awesome….all 7 of them although I think I need to figure out a different way of feeding Miss Athena upstairs because she's in such a small room all the time she doesn't get as much exercise as she needs and so she's getting a couple extra unneeded pounds on her.  I don't like abusing my critters in the manner in which I myself am afflicted so I'm researching on the best way to handle that.  Maybe a different kitty food and only feeding twice daily.  We'll see.

So that's that.  I guess my life is pretty dull and therefore doesn't really NEED a lot of updates at the moment.  Maybe someday.

So much has happened since I last checked in.  Well, it seems to me that so much has happened but to others it's probably just another day...

Kurt and I bought a house.  It's adorable, it was well in our price range and the backyard is HUGE for the kids.  Best of all, we're saving over $300/month in mortgage payments as opposed to what we were paying for rent.  Gotta like that!

The downside is that it's a fixer upper.  Not really a DOWNside so much as its a work in progress.  The walls all throughout need to be painted, that's on the top of the priority list.  As well as adding an additional power outlet in each room.  It's an old house, built in 1949, so it's original wood flooring and quirky doors and such but the best part is that it's ours.

We've also added 5 (yes 5) kittens to our family.  It started out with the 2 that I kept that I fostered last summer, and they're almost 6 months old now...and then I temp fostered 5 kittens in December and we had to keep 3 of them (we wanted to keep them all but we just couldn't).  So now we've got 5 kittens all under 6 months.  2 are almost 6 mths and 3 are 8 weeks.  ALL of them are freakin' adorable.  And, since I've handraised them all, from bottlefeeding every 2 hours 24/7 to teaching them to eat solids and use the litter box, I'm mommy to them...they're lap kitties and love snuggles.  I adore them.  :)

Mary and Emily still aren't getting along so we're not even trying to push it with them.  We keep them separated at all times now, which means that we'll need to put off fostering children until (god forbid) one of them crosses the rainbow bridge.  We can't have any accidents with leaving doors open or whatnot.  We switch days as to who gets to spend the majority of the daytime in the main part of the house and who's separated...they both get time in the main part during the day but we switch them out so that they get time with not just me but Kurt, too.

The new semester is starting now.  With buying a house and all last semester I was just not very present at all in my brain so hoping that this coming one will go over better for me.  This semester I didn't get to class sign ups in time so I'm taking math (of course), which I've already taken but I'm re-taking it so that I'm better able to grasp the concepts.  I tried taking the next class but I was so lost and ended up dropping it.  I'm also taking 2 art classes.  I know, I know.  Ceramics, which I hate, and Advanced Digital Photography.  It should be an interesting semester!

Something else that is happening for us is that Kurt and I signed up with Big Brothers Big Sisters so we'll be getting our "Littles" in a couple of weeks after our FBI checks come back.  Can't be too careful when it comes to working with kidgets.  We're really excited to work with kids who need a good role model and mentor.

I know, I know, I've been terrible with writing lately, dear blog, but I have a good reason. M-A-T-H. That's right, math. It's kicking my ass right now and I've been trying to use spare moments to study. I've even stopped going over to the SPCA so much and use that time to study. I have a test coming up on Wednesday and I will admit that I'm worried. The material that it's covering is stuff that I'm just not grasping as fast as I'd like and, well, that creates a lot of stress in my life. The other day I had a break down in a coffee shop that I was studying at. I just started crying because I didn't understand what I was doing and I didn't know how to make myself understand. It's a very frustrating feeling. Needless to say, I've made tutoring appointments for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday before classes to go over all of it in the hopes that I'll be able to grasp it a little better.

As far as weight loss goes, I'm still stuck in my plateau. Or I have been, anyway. Tomorrow is my weigh-in so we'll see how I've done this week. It's getting pretty discouraging, to be quite honest. In three months I've lost about 10 pounds, whereas the previous 3 months I lost a LOT more.

So that's it, blog. I told you I had a good reason for being gone for so long. When it comes down to it, studying has priority over pretty much everything else, as of late. I will tell you, though, that I'm looking forward to summer break when I can hang out at the SPCA more and worry less about math. Blah.

The worst thing someone can do when you're eating healthy is tempt you with chocolate. I don't know many people who don't like it, including me! So math class was yesterday, and the instructor always brings in gum, mints, tootsie pops, etc. etc. Occasionally, during a holiday and when she finds a deal, I'm assuming, she brings in chocolate. Bad, bad chocolate! Well, actually it's good, GOOD chocolate...but bad, bad temptation-wise for me! So there I was, I took a couple pieces of gum, one for now, one for later (who doesn't?) and am faced with this pile of chocolates in the shape of hearts and wrapped in pink and red foil. Oh me, oh my! I resisted throughout class, all the while eying that blasted chocolate as though it were poison! And just before I left at the end, I grabbed a few pieces. I know, I know...I totally caved. I'm so ashamed! *Sobbing*

When I reached my photography class I took one out of my bag (I'd just tossed them into my book bag in hopes that the deterrent of having to root around for them at the bottom of it would give me time to change my mind), unwrapped the dastardly piece, and realized that it was dark chocolate. Now, we all know that dark chocolate is a lot more bitter than milk-chocolate and, therefore, easier to resist. I was happily surprised. I popped it into my mouth, closed my eyes, enjoying the sweet, sweet flavor of bitter, dark chocolate, relishing the complete decadence of it all... Beginning to chew slowly, reluctantly, ever so gently, as to savor every last morsel of chocolaty goodness as it swept across my tongue in ever widening swishes of my tongue, coating the insides of my cheeks, my teeth, the roof of my mouth with wonderful sapidity...enjoying it till the very end: the moment of swallowing the decadent morsel from heaven.

And now, my yearning for chocolate has been abolished. I fished out the remaining pieces, doled them out to a couple of strangers whilst en route to my car after class. My craving had been appeased.

I caved in to the chocolate, blog, but I won the battle in the end. I conquered, I destroyed, and I relished a victory sweeter than the chocolate, itself.

I think I'm back in the game! I lost 4.5 pounds this week, bringing my total to officially 60.5 pounds. Woohoo! I'm so relieved to see a loss again this week. I was worried about getting on the scale this morning, but, of course I did it!

This past week was the first week back of the semester. I had a great time. My fave day is definitely M/W with math and photography. My writing class is ok. I need to give it time, I suppose. But nobody in the class is very outgoing, so I find myself getting bored with nobody to make quips with. I do it myself, but eh...it's just not the same. I dunno why. The teacher is great, not the most exciting, but he's decent. Like I said, I think I just need to give the class a bit more time.

I am forced to sit in a regular desk in writing, as well. BUT, unlike previous times, I actually FIT behind it enough to still be comfortable. Well, as comfortable as one is when sitting in one of those small desks...but I'm pretty stoked about that!

Being back to school makes it a little more difficult to get in all of my water each day, so I've not been doing so well in that respect. I take water with me, of course, but not wanting to have to run to pee every 10 minutes makes drinking a lot of it out of the question. I"m trying to make a concentrated effort to get it all in when I get home, though, but also, when on go to the SPCA after class on T/Th's I don't get home until after 5, which only leaves the evening to get it in. I'm attempting to work around it...we'll see soon enough, how I do.

Of course, I'm still getting in my daily hour of exercise. I refuse to not do that. Even when I wasn't losing the past few weeks, I was still on my treadmill every day for my 60 minutes of working out. My day just doesn't feel complete without doing so, and I find myself even looking forward to it. It's odd...but I'm glad my mind is thinking that way!

I had such good intentions to blog more over the holiday break....and I suppose that I didn't do TOO bad, but certainly not nearly as great as I wanted to. Such is my life. I've been fairly busy with volunteering at the SPCA and am totally loving it. Anyhoo, the new semester begins tomorrow. Math, Writing Fiction, and Digital Photography. I'm really looking forward to it. This is going to be a great semester...I can feel it!

Dear blog...

I'm so sorry that I've neglected you so much this past month, or so. Things have been kind of crazy in my life. And even when it wasn't crazy, I just didn't feel like blogging about it. Finding the right words to define something that I have no idea how to define is kind of hard...so sometimes, I just have to say enough for now. Of course, I have kept up on every single Hot 100 posts...even whilst on holiday over Thanksgiving. (I'm aiming to get those peppers!) Ha.

The semester ended a couple of weeks ago with me receiving a 4.0 GPA. I was pretty excited about this fact, because doing so well in math has helped me have a more positive attitude about it all. I'm actually starting to actually LIKE math. *Gasp* Yes, I did say like. I like how there's no gray areas in math....it's cut and dried. This is how you do it, this is the answer. There are no exceptions. Yada yada. I'm surprising myself at how much I'm truly enjoying it.

The last month of the semester I was also working on my English paper...and it was the hardest one that I've had to write, so far. I was stressing over it and just really hoping that it was good enough for an A. I struggled with it...but, alas, I shouldn't have. Everything turned out just fine.

I randomly got a call from my dad about a month ago, as well. He was drunk at the time, and it was hard to talk to him like that. Apparently it's been colder than he's used to where he lives and since he only has warm weather clothes, he doesn't go out in it. So instead of getting his daily exercise and social time he stays holed up inside and drinks beer and smokes all day. This is not a good activity for anyone...but especially him. It prevents him from having any human contact, as well as all that beer is causing him to put on weight again. And he's going just a little senile, as well. He has these crazy conspiracies about people out to get him.

Anyway, during the conversation I asked him if he had decided whether or not he was going to come to Reno to visit us over xmas. He started rambling on about how he doesn't owe Reno anything and Reno doesn't owe him...and that he left Reno on a bad note. Now, when my dad and I first started talking again after so many years, he kept telling me that there were things that he wanted to tell me about that time...but that he was waiting for the right time. Suddenly, I think he believes he's already told me. When I asked him why he left Reno, he told me, "I've already told you, Shauna, but you just never listen..." I told him that he hadn't told me anything about what went on when we hadn't seen each other...and once again, in his drunken slur and booze induced, über emotional way, he once again tells me that I never listen to him when he talks. Where the hell does he get that shit from??? Maybe when I was 14 and thought I knew more than he did...but that's certainly not the case NOW!

Needless to say, it really affected me and now I'm afraid to call him to talk because I worry that he'll start on another tirade again. I didn't see or talk to my dad for 14 years...I had no idea where he was, or what he was doing. I had no idea if he was even alive. I'm enjoying getting to know him while we're both adults, but this crap with him thinking this stuff about me is over and above....

The holidays are rarely good for me these days. With each year that passes, I see my friends' kids growing up, celebrating xmas, settling into a quiet suburbian life, whilst K and I are struggling with my being unemployed and going to school. We don't celebrate xmas because we have no money. People say that it's about giving and not receiving.... Well...we don't have money to give...therefore we don't receive. We received 2 gifts this year, one from my mom and step-dad, and one from our wonderful friends, Richard and Holly. The generosity from the latter never ceases to amaze us. K and Richard essentially grew up together and it hasn't been until we added them both on Facebook that we began to be more involved with them and their lives, and vice versa. My mom and step-dad sent us a check with a note to spend it on something fun for ourselves. Well, most of us know what happens with checks. It gets deposited in the bank and bills get paid. I tried to explain to her that we need things from our wish list...and that there were plenty of GC's on there to choose from...but alas, we got a check...which went towards our power bill, I believe. :) Hey...it was used for a good cause, at least.

It's funny, really, but ever since I met my step-dad he'd started giving me a Starbucks gift card every xmas. Then last year he forgot and I mentioned it to him over Thanksgiving while we were visiting. He said he could have swore he'd sent me one last year and that he'd be sure to remember this year. What he doesn't realize is that THAT is the ONE thing that I look forward to every year. Not money, not anything else. The one thing that I have found the most enjoyment in was the Starbucks card that he used to send. What can I say? I'm a SB girl! So I was pretty excited for this year's card...I thought for sure that he'd send me one. But he didn't. I know that I should never expect something like that...it makes me seem rather frivolous and greedy...but I couldn't help (and still can't) but feel let down and despondent about not receiving one. When one doesn't even receive a gift of any sort from her husband, there are very few things that one can look forward to....that was mine.

Add to all of that the fact that I'm married to scrooge, whom doesn't appreciate even decorating or carols...and it makes for a very sad and very depressing time of year. I'm very happy to see the end in sight so that we can get on with our lives....and hopefully this year will bring more cheer than this last one.

We attended an xmas eve Christian service with our friends, Richard and Holly, and had a fun time. We went over to their house afterward and had pizza and eggnog and rum. The company was fun, the atmosphere was certainly more pleasant than at our house, and for once, I felt a bit of the spirit of the holiday. It was good.

I've been so remiss on writing...and I know it.  I've been so busy with writing English essays for class, and studying math.  I had to drop my Spanish class because I wasn't catching on nearly as fast as I was hoping to, and I wasn't doing very well on tests...so I dropped it.  I didn't want my GPA to suffer from an elective class.  I may take it again at a later time...but who knows?

Anyway, school's going well.  I'm getting an A in English, of course, and I believe I'm getting an A in math, as well.  We just had our 2nd math test last Thursday so I won't know how I did until Tuesday...but I'm pretty sure I did okay.

I'm starting to consider which classes to take for next semester.  I'll be finished with my English pre-req's...but I really love taking classes from Patty...so I may end up taking her English 102 to satisfy another pre-req...either that or Writing Fiction.  Either one would be fun...but I sure love Patty's classes!  I'm also going to be signing up for a digital photography class.  That, believe it or not, also satisfies a pre-req and would not be considered an elective.  I find that funny.  All these amazing classes available that are considered pre-req's.  Although, there is one class that I am required to take that is about computers...kind of like a beginners course; I need MS Word 97 on my computer for it...can you say barf?!  I know all the stuff the class teaches already...and yet it is still a pre-req.  I guess my mac is gonna have to deal with having a microcrap product installed on it for a few months at some point.  Gack!

I got on the scale this morning, and, as you might have noticed my ticker in the top right, I lost a whopping SIX pounds this past week! 

Now people, before you get all concerned, I'm eating!  Sometimes, I think I'm eating too much.  But I'm changing my habits.  No longer do I head to Starbucks for my frappaccino after classes during the week, nor do I hit McD's several times a week.  I eat healthy dinners that my husband prepares on a daily basis (ok, ALMOST daily), smaller portion sizes, healthy desserts like peaches and nectarines and grapes, as opposed to ice cream.  HOWEVER, I am not denying myself my favorite things.  Once each week, on Saturdays, I treat myself to McD's.  I get a caramel frappé, three mcdoubles, and a large fry.  Normally, I am only able to finish the fries and a burger, sipping on the frappé most of the evening, leaving two burgers left over for whenever. 

I bought two pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream almost a month ago, and ice cream, ladies and gents, is my weakness.  I have only ate one pint of the two!  I'm just not craving it.  And when I think about wanting something sweet, I go to the fruit in the fridge before I go to the ice cream.  OR, we also have Minute Maid's frozen juice bar that are a treat, as well.  I'm not depriving myself.  I'm not starving by any means.  I'm getting in around 1000 calories per day, give or take. 

I am exercising on a regular basis, walking at the correct target heart rate speed, as opposed to going as fast as I could, as far as I could, in the least amount of time that I could.  In doing this, I'm burning fat instead of muscle.  All calories are not alike!  Burn the right ones!

I'm getting my water in.  It was one of my Hot 100 goals, and I've been doing awesome at it.

Another goal was to put the most effort that I could possibly give towards school and my family.  Well, my family is fine, however, I didn't do so well on my first spanish test.  Oh, I passed, that's not the issue.  But it was with a C+.  What the hell???  I can do much better than that.  And it's because I didn't study nearly as much as I should, for it.  So, that's my goal this week, in particular, to get my flash cards created and work on those.  I need to learn the conjugations that we've went over, backwards and forwards.  No excuses!

So that's it for the week.  Obviously, I've gotten a lot of things off of my chest in the past couple of days.  Woohoo!  It's my mutli-posting again!

My, oh my, was I wrong when I thought that Spanish would be an easier course.  Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but ay dios mio, it's much more difficult than I imagined it would be!  I mean, here I was thinking that I know some words here and there from living where I do and watching TV, it should be a cinch!  NOT! 

Now, if I were wanting to learn CONVERSATIONAL Spanish, which is what one would learn if one were to be 100% immersed in a Spanish speaking country for 6 months, then I would do just that!  But, nooo, I have to go and learn the book Spanish! 

I have a test on Saturday, the first one of the semester, and I'm a little nervous...can you tell? 

I was studying with my friend, Angela, who is from El Salvador (Angie, I'm so sorry if I remembered wrong!), and speaks English as her 2nd language, earlier today.  She was like, "What the f**k, Shauna, this isn't how we speak Spanish!"  Hahaha.  She was great with helping me, though, and I cherish her for that.  We met during Spring semester when we had math and english together.  We are taking English together again, however, she's now ahead of me, by one, in math, cuz she took a summer class.  It works out, though, cuz my strong suits are her weaknesses, and vice versa.  Plus, she's just a fun girl to hang out with!

Math is going well, too.  It's funny that when I was doing this level before, in my life, I had such a hard time wrapping my head around it and grasping the concepts.  But, I'm learning, that math is actually quite easy...and it makes sense.  Where else do the rules NEVER change???  Certainly not in English!  So, I'm learning a deep respect for numbers, and variables, and integers, and geometric shapes, and, and, and.....  You get the idea.

English has been great so far.  I'm taking the same instructor that I had during Spring semester because she just totally rocks.  Patty's definitely one of the better instructors that I've had, since being back in school.  And, I've learned, that there are definitely bad ones!  We have a first paper draft due on Tuesday, so this weekend I'll be writing like a fiend.  I think, maybe, that's why I'm catching up on my blog NOW.  Because I know that I may not have another down moment during this weekend, between studying for Spanish, writing my English paper, and studying for my math test, which is on Tuesday.  God, I love college!  I love having my brain work again!  I feel so dormant during the summer months!

OK, so the title has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to post...but I thought it might get a laugh.

The first week of school is done and the 2nd week is about to start.  I'm not so fond of my math teacher, but perhaps she'll grow on me.  I just need to know and learn the material.  That's it!  My English teacher is the same one that I had last semester (half of the class are previous students, as well...ya gotta love that, if you're the teacher!)  I'm really looking forward to her class this year.  I've only had one Spanish class, so far.  It's supposed to be every Saturday and she'd told us a couple weeks ago that she'd have a sub there on the 4th, so the class all show up and the building is locked up tighter than a virgin with her knees locked together!  Hmmm, a little crude humor there...can't hurt!  Haha.  So we're all wondering what the heck is going on and a campus cop drives up and tells us the campus is closed till Tuesday for the Labor Day weekend.  Well, apparently she didn't get the memo!  Que pasa????

I lost another pound in 5 days.  Which, I considered quite good, since I had pizza two days in a row.  The first night fresh...the second night, leftovers.  So I'm happy for that.  I chalk it up to having kept on exercising.

Speaking of exercising....I've deemed myself officially addicted to it.  So, I've given myself Sundays off.  I didn't want to skip any days before now because I knew if I did it'd get too hard to get back into the swing of things.  But I've got it down, now, and I'm ok to take a day off per week.  Sundays are the day.  It's laundry day, anyway.  I'm still doing 50 minutes, but I've notched my speed up by .2 mph and added a 6% incline.  For the first few days my ass was killin' me!  It was definitely letting me know that it was there!  Not that I needed the reminder!  But I'm good now...and I'm feeling my gluts and hamstrings firming up from the incline work.  I love the feeling.  And I've got a killer playlist now.  It took me a while to get it tweaked just right...but it's there now.  Lots of classic rock and stuff from the 80's and 90's.  Good stuff!

I'm proud of myself that I can walk into my husband's work building now without getting all huffy and puffy, anymore.  It's quite a ways from the parking lot and I always hated going to see him cuz it's so freakin' far away!  Haha.  I can also take the stairs at school with no problem and can walk faster without getting out of breath.  For the average person in average shape that's no big deal.  For me?  It's a huge milestone.  It's reasons like that that keep me exercising every day.  That and seeing the pounds falling off.  Woohoo!

It feels like it has been forever since I last blogged.  And, I suppose it has, in a way.  Oh, I know I've had my long spells before...but those were different.  Don't ask me how...they just were.  Haha.

Anyway, my mom was here visiting for a little over a week.  She flew in to help with the yard sale and to help me get my house cleaned up a little and put in order.  Now, that does't sound so bad if you're a normal sort of slob.  Which, I'm not.  I'm never normal.  Normal is boring!  Nope...my house is like a hazmat location.  Seriously.  Well, maybe not that bad...but you get the idea.  We have a large back room attached to the back of the house.  It used to be the patio in back, but at some point it was made into a large extra room.  It was packed almost to the rafters with boxes and other miscellaneous crap.  Stuff that we'd put in there shortly after we moved in...and never touched it since.  It's been worrying at my mind for years to get it cleaned up...but it was such a big job that I was always so daunted by it all.  My husband was not very supportive...relying on me to gain momentum and motivation to get it done...and that, in itself, was another big reason for why it was never cleaned up.  So anyway, after the yard sale...we concentrated on that room.  And now?  Now it's like a whole other place in there!  My mom had initially thought that we'd get it cleaned up and put in order in a day or less...little did SHE know!  It took us about a week to get it all done.  Granted, among the time we spent back there, we also did a bit of cleaning up in my kitchen, bedroom, and living room.  I feel like we truly got something accomplished back there, though, and it feels amazing! 

In all the time that my mom was in town, the only days that I missed my treadmill were the ones that the yard sale was on.  And those days I was lifting and moving heavy boxes all over so I still got my exercise in.  As soon as Monday came back around I was back on the treadmill doing my thing.  I did weigh myself last Sunday and had a gain...but it's ok.  It was also my TOTM.  I know, right???  About friggin' TIME!!!!  It's been over a YEAR since the last one and so I knew that the gain was probably because of that.  Thank you, Metformin!!!

Anyway, back to the treadmill...I don't know which day it is...but I'm up to 50 minutes on there now.  Slowly getting up to the one hour mark.  Woohoo!  And now I don't dread going back there, either, cuz the room's all nice and clean.

I was also online to print out my class schedule and discovered that my first class begins tomorrow!  I'm so glad I thought to get on there and check!  So, I'll be going to my Spanish class tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to it, actually.  Should be fun. I hope it's fun.  It'll be fun!

This Wednesday my mom is flying in for a visit.  She's going to be helping me go through my house and get ready for the yard sale that I'm having this coming weekend.  My husband and I have been saying that we wanted to do this for 10 years now...well this year is the year!  Haha.  MAYBE just MAYBE I'll get my back room cleared out and cleaned up so that we can freakin' walk back there!  That'd be so nice!!!

Anyway, mom's coming to visit.  Poor K has to sleep on the sofa so I can share the bed with her.  I feel bad kicking him out of his own bed, ya know?  But we don't have anywhere else to sleep.  It's so darn small here.  I can't wait till we have money again so we can move into a house with a yard.  It's good to have goals, right?  Sigh.

Upside, is that in 15 days my classes start.  I've signed up for math, english and Spanish for beginners!  I figure if I can follow through with the spanish lessons that I will be more of an asset in my career than if I didn't speak it.  And I've got a great friend who speaks Spanish as a 1st language, who can help me.  :D  Gotta love that!