Wednesday, March 2, 2011
It's official! I'm a one woman show...well, me and my ass, that is. It's disappearing! Those pounds might not be coming off as fast as I'd like, but my ass is sure diminishing by the day. As a woman who is intimately in the know about her body, I know all of my lumps, curves, bubbles, jiggles and smooshiness. And I know my ass. And it's smaller. Much smaller. In fact, if my ass gets much smaller I'm gonna have to go ghetto with my jeans and buy a belt to keep them up around my ass. I like my booty...I hope it doesn't disappear altogether! My arms seem to be shrinking these days a little bit, too. I can deal with that. My arms are huge. I hate them. And of course my thighs are disappearing. I used to be pretty much wedged behind the steering wheel of my car once upon a time...now I fit loosely and comfortably. NOW I fit in the desks at school...not that I sit at them. I prefer the big girl table. Cuz I'm a big girl. And I wear my big girl panties. OK, I'm digressing...
I'm gonna have some news in the next day or two. So stay tuned. This amazing disappearing ass lady is on a roll and on her way down, down, down to downtown...
OK, now I'm really digressing. Sorry!
I'm in my photography class, which I find distinctly unchallenging....so I'm bored. So I'm blogging. But now, I must go.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The worst thing someone can do when you're eating healthy is tempt you with chocolate. I don't know many people who don't like it, including me! So math class was yesterday, and the instructor always brings in gum, mints, tootsie pops, etc. etc. Occasionally, during a holiday and when she finds a deal, I'm assuming, she brings in chocolate. Bad, bad chocolate! Well, actually it's good, GOOD chocolate...but bad, bad temptation-wise for me! So there I was, I took a couple pieces of gum, one for now, one for later (who doesn't?) and am faced with this pile of chocolates in the shape of hearts and wrapped in pink and red foil. Oh me, oh my! I resisted throughout class, all the while eying that blasted chocolate as though it were poison! And just before I left at the end, I grabbed a few pieces. I know, I know...I totally caved. I'm so ashamed! *Sobbing*
When I reached my photography class I took one out of my bag (I'd just tossed them into my book bag in hopes that the deterrent of having to root around for them at the bottom of it would give me time to change my mind), unwrapped the dastardly piece, and realized that it was dark chocolate. Now, we all know that dark chocolate is a lot more bitter than milk-chocolate and, therefore, easier to resist. I was happily surprised. I popped it into my mouth, closed my eyes, enjoying the sweet, sweet flavor of bitter, dark chocolate, relishing the complete decadence of it all... Beginning to chew slowly, reluctantly, ever so gently, as to savor every last morsel of chocolaty goodness as it swept across my tongue in ever widening swishes of my tongue, coating the insides of my cheeks, my teeth, the roof of my mouth with wonderful sapidity...enjoying it till the very end: the moment of swallowing the decadent morsel from heaven.
And now, my yearning for chocolate has been abolished. I fished out the remaining pieces, doled them out to a couple of strangers whilst en route to my car after class. My craving had been appeased.
I caved in to the chocolate, blog, but I won the battle in the end. I conquered, I destroyed, and I relished a victory sweeter than the chocolate, itself.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
One of the random problems that I'm encountering after losing almost 60 pounds is the fact that all of my clothes are falling off. Now, that can be a good thing if I could afford purchasing new clothes. However, I'm unable to do that!!!
For instance, this morning I decided that I'd had enough of an ill-fitting brassiere. I knew I had alternate ones from a previous weight loss foray, but I was pretty sure that I didn't have any that were the proper size that I needed. So, I'm rifling through my lingerie drawer, checking sizes on tags and then tossing items aside haphazardly when I find a fancy bra that I used to wear under a shrug that resembles more of a skimpy top than anything else. It's padded (of course), and has little red cherries on top of a white background and red ruffley lace along the edge. Needless to say, it's not your everyday wearing kind of dealio. Not normally anyway.
It is now!!! It was the right size! So, till I'm able to purchase a more normal brassiere, this one is going to have to do.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
In reminiscence of my post written previously, I feel the need to reconvey the same message once again.
1) I might not like your songs (which is VERY likely)
2) It starts all over again ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE
3) It disturbs the current song I’m listening to
4) I get a sudden heartattack when the song starts playing out of no where.
5) It slows down my internet.
6) I will leave your blog RIGHT AWAY.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
I've been DECLINED.
The horror! The outrage! The LIE!
I keed, I keed....
Of COURSE, I got the increase!!!!!! Peeps, you know what this means?! It means I'm goin' back to school, again!!! Yay!!!!!! I'm so stoked. Kurt was saying that even if I didn't get the increase we'd find a way to pay for it....we'd have been so broke we'd have had to move! And eat dirt! A lot of dirt. Too much dirt.
I wonder how many calories are in dirt. I bet I'd have lost weight! Crap! Maybe I'll try the dirt diet, anyway!!!
Sweet!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
and admit that it's my weight. At least part of it is. OK, most of it. That, and getting old.Anyhoo...I wake up each morning soooooo achy. This morning was the worst it's ever been. I could hardly move. I literally had to roll out of bed. OK, I have to do that anyway cuz the bed's so high that I don't touch the floor. But I digress. I've never had to actually do stretching exercises once I was standing. This morning? I did. I was thinking to myself, "Oh god! What if I'm never back to my regular self again?!" But, then I remembered that I'm not naturally all that limber ANYWAY...but still.
I hate being fat. No, no...that's not right. I don't hate being fat. I don't like how being fat makes me feel.
(Much better.)
And I hate feeling bloated. Today, I've been bloated. No, I take that back. Bloated since yesterday. Just feel like crap's in my tummy and it hasn't moved along. Well, some stuff has....believe you me. But that's something I will try to keep out of this blog entry...this time. Anyway, you know that feeling like you're really full...but you've hardly ate anything? That's how I feel.
I've not weighed myself since Wednesday. I'm trying to force myself to wait for a week between because sometimes it's a let-down, when I see it. And I know that with Kurt home over this long weekend (AGAIN!) it won't be so good for me. Doesn't help that we have cheap food in the house, either. Starch....carbs....argh!!! WHY does the healthy food cost so much??? WHY??? WHY???? Someone tell me????
So anyway, back to the topic at hand....my back aches these days. Any other fatties having that issue?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Note:
This post does not have anything to do with the NICE person that I say that I am in THIS post's #5. Scary bugs are except!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
But, I thought I'd try something new....
What are the 10 things that I like MOST about me?
- My hair....it's long, it's gorgeous, it's down to my ass! And ok, it's starting to get some grays along the hairline, but they're EARNED grays...so I'm ok with them being there.
- My smile. My husband says it's the greatest thing he loves about me; I believe him!
- My youthful genetics. OK, maybe some of it is also the fact that the fat in my face makes me not have wrinkles...but my mom's side looks young for their ages...so I'm gonna run with that part, too. I haven't been carded lately...but when people learn my age they're usually pretty surprised.
- My sense of humor. I have to have one to live with Kurt 24/7! Seriously, though, I may not be a stand-up comedienne, but I can certainly hold my own.
- My love for animals. Seriously...I'm one of those people who hate stepping on ants cuz I worry that their family is waiting at home for them to bring home the bacon! I'm THAT bad!
- My acceptance of others, regardless of race, religion (ok, maybe the mormons are on my shit list, still, but there's a reason for that!), beliefs, sexual orientation, or creed. Let's face it, we're all different. It's what makes the world, and humankind in particular, so darn fun and exciting to learn about!
- Being short. OK, there I said it. I love it! It makes me different. How many people can say that they're under 5 feet??? I know a couple....but I know hecka lot more who are over it!
- I love that I'm good on computers. Not at putting them together, heck no. I'll leave that to the bigger dorks than me. But I can generally find an issue that's in an OS and fix it...or find the answer quick!
- I love to talk...about me. About stuff I'm passionate about. I may not know all the idiosyncrasies about a topic...but if I'm passionate about it then I will learn. I will do a lot of research and I will find out! And then I will discuss it with anyone who is willing!
- My writing. I know that this blog reads more like a journal than anything else...but it's out there for anyone to read. And a lot of people do. I like the idea of that. I like that I rarely spell stuff wrong and that others ask me how to spell stuff. And I love that I can write about things that make me happy, or sad, or angry....and know that I'll feel better after I do.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Last night I woke up from a dream about FARMING and trying to think how I can plant and harvest over the course of the next couple of weeks. Is that sick, or what? (Or what, right?)
I've succumbed to the horribleness of Facebook gaming...and have become whom I always said that I wouldn't...a Farmville freak.
There, it's said. It's out there.
Now I can deal and move on.
And continue to figure out what times would be best for harvesting!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
So off she goes to collect one. She came back and began to fit it into my mouth when she says..."now, of course these are from the children's sizes."
(Silence)
Children's sizes? Wait a minute! This isn't fair! WHY am I short, like a child, have small hands and feet, like a child, and yet am over 300 pounds??? It's obvious that I'm something's idea of a sick and twisted joke! I mean, really! If the main part of me is huge...you'd THINK the rest of me would be, as well, in comparison. No?
Irony can bite my big, white bum! I'm SO not amused.
The upside is that I don't have any cavities. Woohoo.
Monday, May 17, 2010
It's the dogs' toy duck. It quacks when squished. Emily was next to the bed and she rolled over onto it.
Silly quacker!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
1) I might not like your songs (which is VERY likely)
2) It starts all over again ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE
3) It disturbs the current song I’m listening to
4) I get a sudden heartattack when the song starts playing out of no where.
5) It slows down my internet.
6) I will leave your blog RIGHT AWAY.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Yesterday evening I had a low calorie green bean casserole for dinner, not remembering that all of the previous times that I'd had it I'd gotten decidedly unwell. This time was no different.
And so...
From about 10pm on since last night I've had a terribly upset stomach, mega diarrhea that also has the decidedly UNWELL color of black to it! I know this is too much info but hey, what else am I going to amuse myself with? I had the last of the pepto last night as well as a Tylenol PM (just one...more than that knocks me out for a week!) I've sat on the toilet so many times with my book (I'm certainly not going in there without one!) wondering if I was going to puke, as well. Listening to the sounds of my poor, churning tummy being unhappy about being decidedly unwell.
The upside to being decidedly unwell? With my body emptying everything in its decidedly unwell system I'm probably also losing a few pounds. Figures it takes being decidedly unwell to lose it!
So I slept until about 2pm after many interruptions from the mini dog and one decidedly cold and wet nose pushed into my face at least once from big dog. I ate top ramen because, after doing internet research on decidedly dark diarrhea, it is salty and easy on my system. Now I'm reclining back in my recliner with mini dog on my lap sharing space with my laptop with a decidedly unwell tummy still making churny noises. I don't feel good. I don't want to be awake. I want to go back to bed and feel sorry for myself for being decidedly unwell.
Monday, March 8, 2010
I've been cleansing today...never a fun ordeal but I've felt as though I've needed it for a few weeks now. I ran out of the cleansing juice after my 2nd week so I've went without for about 3 weeks now. It was time!
Kurt's decided to blog again...about some really fun stuff. So if you haven't been following his blog be sure to do so. You can find the link on the left side of my blog under Fave Blog links...his blog is called Something/Anything? He's such a talented writer and I love reading his stuff because he makes me laugh so darn much!
Yesterday we went grocery shopping...a tedious chore that must be done. You should have seen me reaching to the top shelf for a can of plain almonds. Of COURSE it was on the top shelf...and of COURSE I couldn't reach them! And of COURSE Kurt was in the next aisle over looking for something else on the list. So I stood on my very tippy toes (which isn't far with all the weight I'm carrying) and streeeetched my hand up. There were 4 cans stacked one on top of the other and so I grabbed the bottom one and verrrry carefully lowered it down to where I could take the top one off of the stack and then very carefully put them all back up onto the top shelf. I was impressed that I could actually do all of that without dropping anything! Ahhh the drawbacks of being short.
I took the dogs to their vet appointment a few days ago and was told (I already knew) that Peaches needs to lose a pound or two. She's got love handles where there needs to be ribs. So we've been trying to feed them twice a day, morning and evening, out of separate bowls. Peaches gets only 1/4 cup of food each time. I was worried about her because for a while she wasn't eating...but we've found our rhythm. Phew! They also both got their shots and Peaches got a mani/pedi done. MUCH needed! Her nails were starting to split... :(
Anyway that's all for now...till next time...don't eat any chopped liver. Not only does it taste disgusting but it looks disgusting, too!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Now, as a fat girl there are two things that I was concerned with with the new semester. The first being parking. Although I had it perfected with last semester I was worried about the new building and new time. I know, I know...I worry about the oddest things...but seriously, this was one of the main things that I was concerned about. Being uber fat makes walking long distances hard. My lungs get all worked up, I turn all red in the face, huffing and puffing...wait, am I talking about the distance between my lounge chair and bed or between the parking lot and classes. Both! So I worried about this. I worried for naught.
The second thing that only a fat person of my stature has to worry about is squeezing into those small desks. I had two classes last semester that I had to do that with. It was rough. I always felt like I was squeezing into jeans that are two sizes too small...tugging, pushing, shoving...you get the idea. So when I reached my math class and saw that it was tables I was elated! One class down! And the class and instructor isn't so bad, either!
After math is English...and when I peeked through the window on the door to THAT classroom I was not so jubilant as the desks were desks...and not tables. *Insert frowny face here* When I went in I saw the little table on wheels with the comfy chair and headed towards it. They're always in the front row anyway and so it was perfect! (I'm a front row kind of gal.) So I didn't need to worry about wedging myself into a small spot yet again. Woohoo!
After all was said and done I really believe that I will have a positive experience with these two classes. Tomorrow I have diversity and we'll see how that one goes. It's on the ground floor so it shouldn't be too much of an issue...and the parking lot is one that I'm familiar with. Go me!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Snickering. Silly husband.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friend: We should go to an amusement park sometime.
Me: Nah. They're no fun when I can't ride the rides.
Friend: Why can't you ride the rides?
Me: Because my ass doesn't fit in the seats.
Friend: Why?
Me (with a disgusted look on my face): Hellooooooo...I'm fat!!!
Being fat is a fact of life. I can say the word without getting embarrassed or pissy about it. And I expect those around me to be able to do the same. I mean...it's obvious. It's not a secret that I'm trying to hide. How can I?! I'm 150 pounds overweight. It's a LIT-TLE hard to hide that, don't you think?
So why do my friends (or acquaintance--because we DID establish in previous posts that I have no friends here) get all squeamish or uncomfortable when I say it? If anyone feels that way should it not be me? Take a page from my book, my friend, and just accept it. News flash! I KNOW I'M FAT!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Me: I'm fat, Phil! I walked in from the parking lot!
I'm such a sarcastic bitch sometimes. Hehe. He was at my wedding...he wasn't blind then. He knows me!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
It's funny how little things like that stay with you. I don't have one particular memory that stands out...but I remember the days of riding up to purchase our penny candies and then biking back. The couple who owned it back then were older...at least I considered them old by my young standards, and I'm they've probably passed away by now...but the fruit stand remains in the same family. I haven't been in there in many years...I wonder if it's still the same inside. Or if, as with everything else these days, it's been modernized...perhaps I will drive up there in the next few days and check for myself...and see if it still holds the memories within it's walls...of children laughing and ordering candy. I wonder if other children are creating the same memories. I never see bicycles parked outside anymore....so I'm banking on not. Too many people worry about abductions, etc. to allow their kids to bike off to two main streets alone to buy open candy from strangers.
It's too bad it's changed...those are great memories. Very great indeed.
