Many people, after having read my previous post about my Cosmo boy, have accused me of being selfish for feeling so heartrendingly sad to see him go. Let me assure you, once again, that I am ECSTATIC that he has found a wonderful home. He's now got a permanent playmate with their big dog (who was/is well taken care of, I noticed), parents who will love him and give him lots of scritches and tummy tubs to his little heart's content.

But let me try to explain how and why I feel the way that I do. I spend hours each week at the SPCA. Most of the pups there are adopted within a couple of weeks of arrival, so I don't form as close of a bond with them as I do with the "long timers" who've been there for a few months. There are 4 dogs that I can think of off hand who have been there as long as, or shortly after, I've been volunteering (since before xmas). Kermit, Tobi, and Archie are all kids who were there before I got there. Cosmo arrived, I believe, the same week that I did. His paperwork claimed that he'd been found wandering the streets as a stray. As soon as I looked into his sweet and soulful eyes, I knew that there was more to his beautiful spirit than just being a dog. Of course, I always know that these critters are MORE than just an animal....I call them my kids. My extended family of children. Anyway, his eyes, they were so full of wisdom and sadness. I don't know how long he was without a home, if he ever had one, but I knew that he was going to be one who needed some time to find the right forever home. I took him under my wing. I would sit for sometimes over an hour in his kennel with him, telling him stories, whispering secrets, telling him about my life, school, my various problems. He never judged, he never told any other doggies (or people) about my issues. He just listened, patiently, understandingly. He knew what I was feeling. I absolutely know that for a fact. I even cried a few tears in the thick fur around his neck as I held him close for hugs and support. He would just look at me with those deep eyes, and I knew I had a kindred soul with me. That I had a greatness in my presence.

I know many of you think that I'm crazy for saying all of this about a dog. But if you had gotten the chance to know Cosmo the way that I did, you'd understand.

Over 2 months passed by... With each dog who left the shelter with their new people he would look hopefully out the gate of his kennel...wondering when it would be his turn. I could read his mind, we had that much of a connection. I assured him that his family was going to be so special that they needed just a bit more extra time to find him than the others did. So he wanted patiently with me. We became closer...the more secrets shared, the closer our bond became. With each opening of the door, we'd both look up, in hopeful earnest, to see if THIS time it was for him.

I was so lucky to be there a few days ago when it WAS for him. And I almost wasn't! I was planning to run some errands that would take most of the afternoon that day. I left the house, got into the car, and would remember something else that I'd forgotten and have to run back in. Before I even left the front of my house, I'd been in and out of my car three times! My first stop was the grocery store to pick up some things and my meds. The first thing I realized was that I'd forgotten a coupon that I'd had in my hand before I left for a free product. I chalked it up to just one of those days and headed toward the pharmacy. They were closed for lunch and wouldn't be back for another hour. It was at the point that I realized that I was probably not supposed to run my errands that day, that I was supposed to be at the SPCA instead. So I headed over to the shelter, camera in hand, as always, and went straight to Cosmo. I sat down in the kennel with him and spent over an hour with him, snapping pics, talking, laughing, playing, giving tummy rubs. The next thing I knew, his number was up. His new family was there. It was time. I was supposed to be there so that I could say goodbye to my Cozzy. And that was the most precious gift that I could have ever received. That extra time to just say goodbye. I cried in his fur that day, when his new family was doing the paperwork. And I cried when I gave him his final hug as he was leaving out the door. I will miss my Cosmo very much...but I do look forward to forming another special bond with another critter soon.

If I'd known that my Emily had been as loved as Cosmo was when I adopted her, I'd feel so much better remembering the history of adopting her. Loving the critters is a good thing. And I'm better for it.

Yesterday my sweet, sweet boy, Cosmo, was adopted and left the shelter. He'd been there almost as long as I've been volunteering, and he didn't show well at the gate of his kennel, so everyone was kind of expecting that he'd be there for a while. So I took him under my wing. He became my sweet buddy, my best pal at the shelter. I whispered in his ear secrets that nobody else knows and I rest assured that he will never tell. It was in his eyes that I found solace on my bad days, so full of deep wisdom and soul. He was more than a friend to me, my Cosmo boy, he was one of the greatest buddies that I will ever know.

I cried when I said goodbye to him, and I cried later after going to bed, alone in the dark. My heart knows that he will be happy in his new home, with his new family, but I am saddened at the fact that I will never again see his face light up when he sees me walk in the door, his tail thumping lightly on the floor. His new people are very nice and he has a playmate in their 9 month old New Finland puppy (a very slobbery and sweet puppy). I gave him one last and final hug as they were leaving out the door; I whispered to him that he will always be loved by me, and that I would never forget him, his infinite and quiet wisdom, his thoughtful regard for me when I needed a sweet and sloppy kiss on the face. I would never forget the hugs that we shared, the big and solid body, so warm and jiggly (private joke between he and I), and his love.

Cosmo, I know you will love your new family, but know that I will always love you and will never forget you.

Adieu, my sweet friend, adieu.

I had such good intentions to blog more over the holiday break....and I suppose that I didn't do TOO bad, but certainly not nearly as great as I wanted to. Such is my life. I've been fairly busy with volunteering at the SPCA and am totally loving it. Anyhoo, the new semester begins tomorrow. Math, Writing Fiction, and Digital Photography. I'm really looking forward to it. This is going to be a great semester...I can feel it!

I've started volunteering at the SPCA in Reno. I really enjoy it so far and am able to finally get my cat fix in since K's allergic and we can't have one of our own. The dogs are awesome to play with and walk and the atmosphere there is hopeful. I enjoy being there...and I feel like I'm actually doing something good with the time that would otherwise be spent playing online or worrying about money!

This particular little lady has captured my heart. Her name is Fuzz and she loves to snuggle and be close. She eventually took a cat nap laying back in my arms, cradled like a baby.