Saturday, March 27, 2010
I know that it's been a while since I've updated anything about my Isagenix program. Truth is that there isn't a whole lot to tell. I was expecting to do as well as I did on it a couple of years ago but that's not the case. I'm struggling daily to get in my water, my shakes and meals within my caloric intake range. In other words...I've not been doing well at all. :( Which then, of course, depresses me and I end up wanting to give up altogether.
I find myself surrounded by friends who are getting the lap-band and I want so badly to get one. But as long as I'm paying old hospital bills and getting collection calls for newer ones I don't think I can manage paying for that as well. Which is why I haven't given up on Isagenix. I owe it to myself and to my family to give this my all. Even when I do get depressed about my results.
I find myself surrounded by friends who are getting the lap-band and I want so badly to get one. But as long as I'm paying old hospital bills and getting collection calls for newer ones I don't think I can manage paying for that as well. Which is why I haven't given up on Isagenix. I owe it to myself and to my family to give this my all. Even when I do get depressed about my results.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I have a friend whom I've never met face to face and yet feel as though I've known her for some time. We share the weight problems, we both have a huge love for our critter kids, we both love to write. Corresponding with her is always a lot of fun.
So about a month ago she makes the mention about how she was working on some digital art that she was creating. I asked her about it and she said it was knotwork...like celtic stuff. Kind of like the celtic cross tattoo that I have on my ankle. So I asked her a few questions and she told me about a beautiful piece that she made for her husband for his birthday not long ago and gave me a link to it on Facebook. It was gorgeous. Tedious, artistic, creative, and VERY time-consuming. And she offered to create one for me. I was honored. I was speechless. And, of course, I accepted!
This is a small version of the larger one that she created for me.
While she is creating them she puts a certain energy into it so that it holds that kind of energy. So not only is it beautiful...but she created it just for me. I'm planning to frame it and put it in my bedroom so I can see it when I wake up each morning.
What my friend, Bert, doesn't realize is that people don't normally give me things like this for no reason. Generally there are strings attached or I receive gifts from family and friends for holidays/birthdays, etc. Normally I am the one who gives to others. I love to give but rarely ever receive. And so, what Bert doesn't realize, when she created this beautiful knot work for me...just for me...using so much of her precious time...she made me cry. Bert, I know you read my blog...thank you...from the bottom of my heart. You're gift means so very much to me and you are truly a beautiful person inside and out.
So about a month ago she makes the mention about how she was working on some digital art that she was creating. I asked her about it and she said it was knotwork...like celtic stuff. Kind of like the celtic cross tattoo that I have on my ankle. So I asked her a few questions and she told me about a beautiful piece that she made for her husband for his birthday not long ago and gave me a link to it on Facebook. It was gorgeous. Tedious, artistic, creative, and VERY time-consuming. And she offered to create one for me. I was honored. I was speechless. And, of course, I accepted!
This is a small version of the larger one that she created for me.
While she is creating them she puts a certain energy into it so that it holds that kind of energy. So not only is it beautiful...but she created it just for me. I'm planning to frame it and put it in my bedroom so I can see it when I wake up each morning.
What my friend, Bert, doesn't realize is that people don't normally give me things like this for no reason. Generally there are strings attached or I receive gifts from family and friends for holidays/birthdays, etc. Normally I am the one who gives to others. I love to give but rarely ever receive. And so, what Bert doesn't realize, when she created this beautiful knot work for me...just for me...using so much of her precious time...she made me cry. Bert, I know you read my blog...thank you...from the bottom of my heart. You're gift means so very much to me and you are truly a beautiful person inside and out.
I've been watching a show on Hulu called Amazing Adventures of a Nobody-Europe where a guy has to make his way from Paris to Moscow using only 5 Euros per day. That isn't much! He relies on the kindness of people to give him places to sleep, food to eat, rides, train tickets, etc. He doesn't have a lot of luck but when he finds the random kind stranger that helps him out it is touching. And amazing. Sometimes it brings a little tear to my eye at the kindness that people can show towards strangers.
Wouldn't it be something if the world were more kind to each other?
Wouldn't it be something if the world were more kind to each other?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Other than a decidedly awesome song called Unwell (thank you, Matchbox 20)...I am decidedly unwell.
Yesterday evening I had a low calorie green bean casserole for dinner, not remembering that all of the previous times that I'd had it I'd gotten decidedly unwell. This time was no different.
And so...
From about 10pm on since last night I've had a terribly upset stomach, mega diarrhea that also has the decidedly UNWELL color of black to it! I know this is too much info but hey, what else am I going to amuse myself with? I had the last of the pepto last night as well as a Tylenol PM (just one...more than that knocks me out for a week!) I've sat on the toilet so many times with my book (I'm certainly not going in there without one!) wondering if I was going to puke, as well. Listening to the sounds of my poor, churning tummy being unhappy about being decidedly unwell.
The upside to being decidedly unwell? With my body emptying everything in its decidedly unwell system I'm probably also losing a few pounds. Figures it takes being decidedly unwell to lose it!
So I slept until about 2pm after many interruptions from the mini dog and one decidedly cold and wet nose pushed into my face at least once from big dog. I ate top ramen because, after doing internet research on decidedly dark diarrhea, it is salty and easy on my system. Now I'm reclining back in my recliner with mini dog on my lap sharing space with my laptop with a decidedly unwell tummy still making churny noises. I don't feel good. I don't want to be awake. I want to go back to bed and feel sorry for myself for being decidedly unwell.
Yesterday evening I had a low calorie green bean casserole for dinner, not remembering that all of the previous times that I'd had it I'd gotten decidedly unwell. This time was no different.
And so...
From about 10pm on since last night I've had a terribly upset stomach, mega diarrhea that also has the decidedly UNWELL color of black to it! I know this is too much info but hey, what else am I going to amuse myself with? I had the last of the pepto last night as well as a Tylenol PM (just one...more than that knocks me out for a week!) I've sat on the toilet so many times with my book (I'm certainly not going in there without one!) wondering if I was going to puke, as well. Listening to the sounds of my poor, churning tummy being unhappy about being decidedly unwell.
The upside to being decidedly unwell? With my body emptying everything in its decidedly unwell system I'm probably also losing a few pounds. Figures it takes being decidedly unwell to lose it!
So I slept until about 2pm after many interruptions from the mini dog and one decidedly cold and wet nose pushed into my face at least once from big dog. I ate top ramen because, after doing internet research on decidedly dark diarrhea, it is salty and easy on my system. Now I'm reclining back in my recliner with mini dog on my lap sharing space with my laptop with a decidedly unwell tummy still making churny noises. I don't feel good. I don't want to be awake. I want to go back to bed and feel sorry for myself for being decidedly unwell.
Monday, March 8, 2010
So here we are almost at mid-term again. Good heavens, where does the time go??? My first math test is on Wednesday and I think I'll do ok. I'm thinking positively...that's where it begins. My English class has been a lot of fun so far...the teacher is amazing and the topics we've had to write about are just awesome. Recently we're working on our 2nd writing assignment and I knew mine was strong but to hear the feedback from the class today was nice.
I've been cleansing today...never a fun ordeal but I've felt as though I've needed it for a few weeks now. I ran out of the cleansing juice after my 2nd week so I've went without for about 3 weeks now. It was time!
Kurt's decided to blog again...about some really fun stuff. So if you haven't been following his blog be sure to do so. You can find the link on the left side of my blog under Fave Blog links...his blog is called Something/Anything? He's such a talented writer and I love reading his stuff because he makes me laugh so darn much!
Yesterday we went grocery shopping...a tedious chore that must be done. You should have seen me reaching to the top shelf for a can of plain almonds. Of COURSE it was on the top shelf...and of COURSE I couldn't reach them! And of COURSE Kurt was in the next aisle over looking for something else on the list. So I stood on my very tippy toes (which isn't far with all the weight I'm carrying) and streeeetched my hand up. There were 4 cans stacked one on top of the other and so I grabbed the bottom one and verrrry carefully lowered it down to where I could take the top one off of the stack and then very carefully put them all back up onto the top shelf. I was impressed that I could actually do all of that without dropping anything! Ahhh the drawbacks of being short.
I took the dogs to their vet appointment a few days ago and was told (I already knew) that Peaches needs to lose a pound or two. She's got love handles where there needs to be ribs. So we've been trying to feed them twice a day, morning and evening, out of separate bowls. Peaches gets only 1/4 cup of food each time. I was worried about her because for a while she wasn't eating...but we've found our rhythm. Phew! They also both got their shots and Peaches got a mani/pedi done. MUCH needed! Her nails were starting to split... :(
Anyway that's all for now...till next time...don't eat any chopped liver. Not only does it taste disgusting but it looks disgusting, too!
I've been cleansing today...never a fun ordeal but I've felt as though I've needed it for a few weeks now. I ran out of the cleansing juice after my 2nd week so I've went without for about 3 weeks now. It was time!
Kurt's decided to blog again...about some really fun stuff. So if you haven't been following his blog be sure to do so. You can find the link on the left side of my blog under Fave Blog links...his blog is called Something/Anything? He's such a talented writer and I love reading his stuff because he makes me laugh so darn much!
Yesterday we went grocery shopping...a tedious chore that must be done. You should have seen me reaching to the top shelf for a can of plain almonds. Of COURSE it was on the top shelf...and of COURSE I couldn't reach them! And of COURSE Kurt was in the next aisle over looking for something else on the list. So I stood on my very tippy toes (which isn't far with all the weight I'm carrying) and streeeetched my hand up. There were 4 cans stacked one on top of the other and so I grabbed the bottom one and verrrry carefully lowered it down to where I could take the top one off of the stack and then very carefully put them all back up onto the top shelf. I was impressed that I could actually do all of that without dropping anything! Ahhh the drawbacks of being short.
I took the dogs to their vet appointment a few days ago and was told (I already knew) that Peaches needs to lose a pound or two. She's got love handles where there needs to be ribs. So we've been trying to feed them twice a day, morning and evening, out of separate bowls. Peaches gets only 1/4 cup of food each time. I was worried about her because for a while she wasn't eating...but we've found our rhythm. Phew! They also both got their shots and Peaches got a mani/pedi done. MUCH needed! Her nails were starting to split... :(
Anyway that's all for now...till next time...don't eat any chopped liver. Not only does it taste disgusting but it looks disgusting, too!
Monday, March 1, 2010
People like me. They may not like the fact that I'm fat but my personality makes up for it and I make friends quite easily. I have no problems striking up a conversation with a stranger in the checkout line and people have no problems talking to me. I have an inviting aura, I guess.
So what makes me bring this up is there is this guy at the bar that I go to who is so weird. People don't like him. He sits there, by himself at the bar, greasy hair, chain smoking, black leather jacket, earrings. He never buys a drink. He just drinks water with lemon and bugs the customers who dare sit next to him. I don't like him. The bartenders don't like him. People, after sitting next to him for 5 minutes don't like him. He talks to people but it's never an engaging conversation. He claims to be a nurse (and several other professional careers...it changes) and yet he can't afford drinks and brags about all the money he saves and how many toys he's got. He doesn't have any friends. It's sad. But it's reality.
So...what I'm getting at here is...what makes this guy different from me in personality? What makes ME, a fattie, more approachable than him? My charming smile, my effervescent demeanor? Perhaps the fact that I laugh and smile a lot to not only the familiar people but also the unfamiliar? I'm not sure. But you put the two of us, me and this weird guy, near each other at the same bar and people inevitably gravitate towards me more than they do him. Why?
I'd always grown up thinking that people don't like being around fat people...but that's not the case for me. People like being around me. More than they do being around this other guy.
Why? I'd love to hear opinions on this!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Dear blog,
It's never a good idea to get so depressed that you aren't losing weight that you binge on mac n cheese.
Just sayin'!
Yours,
Tummy Achy in Reno
It's never a good idea to get so depressed that you aren't losing weight that you binge on mac n cheese.
Just sayin'!
Yours,
Tummy Achy in Reno
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I've been sticking to my diet all week long and yesterday did my cleanse without cheating. I get on the scales this morning after waking up and what do I see? A two pound GAIN!!! I don't understand but it's really discouraging. I've been eating romaine salads with fat free dressing and fresh tomatoes, Italian salad from Olive Garden (although, I do suppose the Tiramisu at the end was not the best idea...nor the creamed soup), I drank the cleanse juice yesterday without scrunching up my face OR gagging afterwards and this is how I'm repaid? A two pound GAIN??? I'm so disheartened. Last time I was on this diet it almost seemed to fall off. I just don't understand. I'm FEELING better...I seem to have more energy...but damned if I just can't get below that 300 mark!
Onto other news before I slit my wrists....
I think my fave class this semester is the one with the heaviest load...Diversity. It's fun. We have great discussions in class (none of which have to do with a thing that's on the test) and Christopher (the instructor) really makes us use our brains. We did have another quiz open a few days ago that nobody seems to be able to access but we have 6 days to clear it up. Hopefully it will be by then! I still need to start my first 2-3 page paper in APA format for the class...but I plan to do that soon enough.
I finished my first English paper and I believe it's relatively good. Kurt didn't have much to say in the way of editing besides a small grammar mistake...and it wasn't so much of a mistake as it made sense to say it in a different way. So I was glad of that.
And math...I love the teacher...but darned if I'm having issues with understand reducing fractions with prime numbers. Dadgummit! I'm determined to get it, though. I'm determined! Just like I am with my dieting. I'm determined to make...this...work!
Onto other news before I slit my wrists....
I think my fave class this semester is the one with the heaviest load...Diversity. It's fun. We have great discussions in class (none of which have to do with a thing that's on the test) and Christopher (the instructor) really makes us use our brains. We did have another quiz open a few days ago that nobody seems to be able to access but we have 6 days to clear it up. Hopefully it will be by then! I still need to start my first 2-3 page paper in APA format for the class...but I plan to do that soon enough.
I finished my first English paper and I believe it's relatively good. Kurt didn't have much to say in the way of editing besides a small grammar mistake...and it wasn't so much of a mistake as it made sense to say it in a different way. So I was glad of that.
And math...I love the teacher...but darned if I'm having issues with understand reducing fractions with prime numbers. Dadgummit! I'm determined to get it, though. I'm determined! Just like I am with my dieting. I'm determined to make...this...work!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
With this new semester comes a LOOOOOT of homework! Math, English and Diversity. I've already done one English paper, I have math every night and I took a diversity test on Thursday. Needless to say, this semester is a lot more intense than last. But I have confidence in myself.
I've been making a few new friends in school, too. Always nice to have since it's my only mode of socialization.
I've been doing my Isagenix over the past week. It began with the two days of cleansing...then 5 days of the shakes...now I'm on my last day of cleansing. I've been sticking right to it so here's hoping the scale is nice to me tomorrow! Crossing my fingers.
Nemo's hatchday was 2 days ago on the 11th and he turned 10 years old. We sang him happy hatchday and gave him some extra nutriberries.
Tomorrow is Valentines day and surprisingly my husband remembered! We're going to go to Olive Garden for their soup and salad tomorrow for lunch and then have a few errands to run. Should be a fun day.
I've been making a few new friends in school, too. Always nice to have since it's my only mode of socialization.
I've been doing my Isagenix over the past week. It began with the two days of cleansing...then 5 days of the shakes...now I'm on my last day of cleansing. I've been sticking right to it so here's hoping the scale is nice to me tomorrow! Crossing my fingers.
Nemo's hatchday was 2 days ago on the 11th and he turned 10 years old. We sang him happy hatchday and gave him some extra nutriberries.
Tomorrow is Valentines day and surprisingly my husband remembered! We're going to go to Olive Garden for their soup and salad tomorrow for lunch and then have a few errands to run. Should be a fun day.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Today I began Isagenix...again. I had tremendous success the first time that I was on it and lost 60 pounds. But then I had my gallbladder removed and then moved to Utah and I ended up gaining it all back plus some. So I'm back on it and determined that this time is it. It's actually not a bad weight loss plan to be on. You don't starve. Well, unless you're doing a cleanse. And I'm doing what is called the 9 day cleanse. It begins with two cleanse days where you drink this *ahem* yummy!!! (not) fruit juicy stuff. It makes me gag just thinking about it! BUT I drink it because I know what it does for me. It removes all of the bad toxins and stuff. So during the normal dieting you just cleanse one day per week...but the 9 day cleanse is kind of a kick start to the program.
So all day today I've been alone at home and bored. And I eat when I'm bored. So many times I said to myself...just have something. Nobody will know! And then the angel on the other shoulder was like "YOU will know!" So needless to say I've stuck to my diet perfectly today. I had an apple (allowed) this afternoon and just had 2 hard boiled eggs (also allowed) for my dinner. In about 10 minutes I'll be drinking the last of the cleanse for the day and then it'll be back to the cleanse tomorrow. It sure makes me appreciate the snacks that are allowed during the regular dieting phase. White cheese, raw almonds, eggs, tuna, carrots, celery...basically anything healthy for you. But the cleanse days do suck. They just do.
I also entered into what is called the IsaChallenge. You win by a combination of things...an essay, weight loss, etc. I'm really stoked because I think I have a good chance of winning. It's one of the things that I see as a coming reward. Part of the winnings is a lot of cash, a 5 day trip to San Diego where we'll be staying in the Marriott. It's been a very long time since Kurt and I have had a chance to get out on a vacation together. It'll be fun. Of course it's not a sure thing yet....but I'm determined. And if I say I'll win then I will. Power of attraction, right?
Official starting weight (I know this seems redundant): 313
Short term goal: 300
Long term goal: 180
So all day today I've been alone at home and bored. And I eat when I'm bored. So many times I said to myself...just have something. Nobody will know! And then the angel on the other shoulder was like "YOU will know!" So needless to say I've stuck to my diet perfectly today. I had an apple (allowed) this afternoon and just had 2 hard boiled eggs (also allowed) for my dinner. In about 10 minutes I'll be drinking the last of the cleanse for the day and then it'll be back to the cleanse tomorrow. It sure makes me appreciate the snacks that are allowed during the regular dieting phase. White cheese, raw almonds, eggs, tuna, carrots, celery...basically anything healthy for you. But the cleanse days do suck. They just do.
I also entered into what is called the IsaChallenge. You win by a combination of things...an essay, weight loss, etc. I'm really stoked because I think I have a good chance of winning. It's one of the things that I see as a coming reward. Part of the winnings is a lot of cash, a 5 day trip to San Diego where we'll be staying in the Marriott. It's been a very long time since Kurt and I have had a chance to get out on a vacation together. It'll be fun. Of course it's not a sure thing yet....but I'm determined. And if I say I'll win then I will. Power of attraction, right?
Official starting weight (I know this seems redundant): 313
Short term goal: 300
Long term goal: 180
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