Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sometimes I have so much to say that I can't say it at all.  School's going great.  That's not the problem I'm having these days.  It's more STILL my lack of income.  I just tried applying for unemployment and I'm not eligible.  I've been finding myself more and more stressed out these days as winter rears its ugly head.  Winter means $300/month power bills.  Winter means that try as we might we can't survive on Kurt's income alone anymore.  Winter means that I'm still angry at my mom for telling me to go into the ER because she'd help me pay for it and then reneged on her promise.  Winter means the holidays.  Winter means buying gifts for people with money that I don't have...or looking like a schmuck.  I don't mind being a schmuck...but this will be like the third year that I've looked like one.  Winter means not seeing my niece when she and my sister visit Utah over xmas because I don't have the money to go see them.

Winter means the end of my first semester back in college.  Winter means looking forward to Spring semester starting and new classes to enjoy.  Winter means new photos to take and explore with my camera.  Winter is winter.  It's simply a season.  It's my emotions and thoughts that can make it into either a good thing or a bad thing.

As of now...I choose to make it into a good thing.  Now...if I can just talk my inner critic into believing the same thing.

1 comments:

Rose Young said...

As far as the holiday gifts are concerned--just put the word out that this year you don't want to exchange gifts with anyone and you aren't sending out cards. I started doing this several years ago. I still get gifts from the stubborn but mostly everyone gets it.
-Rosie
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