The whole student loan thing....I think it's under control.  After attempting a few times to fill out the stuff online and having their site have a major meltdown in the middle...I think I'm all finished with it now.  I still haven't received word that I've got the amount that I asked for...but at least all the paperwork is done, now.  Well, the proverbial paperwork.  It's all online these days....even better.  No papers to shuffle and lose, ya know what I mean?

So anyhoo...next month is when they'll be doing the increases on the loans and so I should know then.  Dunno WHEN next month...but next month sometime.

I'm supposed to meet a friend at Starbucks in a few minutes to have a coffee and chitchat.  It'll be nice to have someone other than my husband, or the bartenders, speak adult to me!  :D  (No offense to any of you guys, but hey....a girl's got to have some variety in her life!)

The scale said 302.5 today!  The 200's are so close I can smell them!  I've been thinking of doing a cleanse tomorrow...even if my husband is home.  They never go so well when he's home cuz he eats the stuff I can't have.  At least when he's working I only have to deal with it at night.  But, regardless, I believe I will cleanse tomorrow.  That should put me over the mark.  Yay!!!  Then I'll need to set another short term goal for myself.  But, I'm not going to think about that until then.  Still concentrating on the goal I have set now.

How many of you ladies out there have PCOS?  Are any of you taking any meds for it, at the moment?  I've had it for many years, now, but I'm not taking anything...and was wondering if I asked my dr. for the necessary hormones if it helps clear up the skin problems?  I'm getting SO tired of having zits!  I feel like I'm a kid again...and it wasn't until something I read recently suggesting that progesterone helps curb that, that I thought...well no wonder!

So....let me know your experience!

Thanks!

And I'd lost 1.5 pounds!  Yay!  I'm seeing 300 getting closer and closer.  It's not far off now.  Just a few more pounds and I'll be there!  Come ON...let's get ON with it!

I actually cheated a bit yesterday.  I had a pint of ice cream...ice cream is my weakness.  If anyone has any suggestions as to how to manage THAT one, I'd be much appreciative!  Then last night around 1am I had a little debbie.  It doesn't really matter which one (mostly cuz I can't remember the names of them) but I did it.  It makes me wonder if my weight loss would have been better today had I not had those two items.  I'm not going to dwell on it, though.  I also drank a ton of water, yesterday.  And I'm not dumb...I know that the big weight loss in the beginning is water...but still, it sure looks good on the scale.  And it's nice to see it go down instead of up, for once!

I'm not sure if Summer's here, or not.  The temps have actually been nice...too nice for this time of year.  We're talkin' low 80's as highs and upper 50's for lows.  Can you say NICE!  I'm sure it won't last.  Summer is just late in getting here...which had BETTER mean it'll be late leaving...but you know how trampy mother nature is...she'll probably release winter early...like snow in September, or something.  Bleah!

Anyhoo...I was listening to my summertime playlist (which is da bomb!) that I ONLY bring out for summer play, and thought I'd share a song with you guys.

Her name was Timber Lynn.  Timber, because my sister wanted something odd.  Lynn...for me.

She was one of the two that my sister lost to the state and then adopted out many years ago...and I think about her often.  I can only hope that one day both her and her brother will find me.  I want them to know that they were (and are) always loved.

I don't have many pics of her because she was a baby when I got married and moved away.  The pics from my first wedding were lost...long story.

So here she is...such a sweetheart.

Wherever you are, Timber Lynn...I love you and miss you.

OK, so maybe not this particular "shake" but this morning's was!

I'm back on the Isagenix after being off for about a month due to...well, you guys all know.

I'm starting over, too.  Mostly cuz I'm off of my meds now...and the fact that I've been off for a month.  It's a good time to just anew.

Ya know...I'd be happy to just lose 10 pounds and get below 300, right now!  I don't like being over the big 3.

Anyhoo...I'm drinking my afternoon "shake" and I've added my daily veggies to it...so it tastes kinda...well, green.  For lack of a better word.  It's not disgusting...but it's not yummy to the tummy, either.  Haha.

Anyway, just updating.  I also updated the ticker at the top...after all this time I'm only starting a pound heavier than the last time that I'd weighed.  Not too bad.  I feel a lot heavier...I feel bloated.  Bleah.

You know...I finally got a hold of my dad a few minutes ago.  I think I'd have been better off had I not.  He really needs to quit with his whole attitude because I'm the only family he's got that's on his side.

He answered and I expressed my surprise and shock that he did.  He proceeded to tell me that he never answers his phone nor looks at it because nobody ever calls him.  So I tell him, if nobody ever calls maybe when it DOES ring he should look at it because it's probably important!  Then I proceeded to say that I'd been trying to contact him via email for the past several weeks, as well.  He tells me that he didn't get them.  When pressed he claims it didn't say my name.  He has the same Mac that I do...and I put myself in his address book...if he gets an email from me it says my name.  He claimed it didn't and therefore he deleted it.  Sigh.

I started to say that I was planning a trip out there to see him but he interrupted me and said he knew why I was calling, to wish him a happy fathers day, there I'd say it and don't need to now and it's over with.

I asked him why the attitude and he claimed he didn't have one.  Sigh.

I told him that we were wanting to go over the hill to see him again in a few weeks and he said that we can stop in and say hello and leave if we want but he wasn't going to go out to eat with us again because he needs to lose weight.  Uh yeah....if we go out to eat he never needed to order the huge ass steak and potatoes and shit.  I've always ordered salads!

Needless to say the phone call ended 4 minutes after it began...with my blood pressure sky high (still is!) and me pissed off at him.  I'm trying to reach out to him...but if he doesn't want it then fuck him.

  I have two dads.  The first one being the one that I've known all of my life.  My bio dad.  He disappeared from my life for 14 years.  He finally resurfaced again a couple of years ago.  His reasons were vague but they're all I have.  Shortly after reconnecting he "disappeared" again for a few months.  Having already thought he was dead at one point, I didn't really think much about it.  After getting in touch with him yet again, I found out that he'd been in the hospital for a couple of months.  Now, the last I heard from him was April 3.  The day after my birthday.  He replied back to an email where I asked if he'd be interested in seeing his granddaughter when she came to visit me and my husband.  He said he would be.  And I haven't heard from him since.  I've been trying to contact him for a few weeks now.  To no avail.  I've tried to call him on both his home and cell number today...to wish him a happy father's day.  No answer.

  My other dad is Randy.  Randy's awesome.  I've known Randy for about 6 years.  Just before he and my mom got married.  I'd have to say that Randy has been there more for me emotionally than my bio dad ever has.  I'm so lucky that he's in my mom's (and therefore MY) life.  He's offered to help my husband and I in many ways.  He's very giving.  He gains pleasure through helping others.  He's not jealous.  He's supportive.  He's just....Randy! 

So...to my two dads...happy father's day.  I wouldn't be who I am today without either of you.

So, since I've been off of my anti-depressants, I've realized just how much I really need them to help me with my moods.  I am such a bitch when I'm not on them!  But I want to give Isagenix a chance to work, because it's supposed to help with all of that, so I looked up natural ways to deal with depression and was rather surprised to see that fish oil was shown to help with depression.  There are actually a lot of websites that cover it...it's not just one of those fly by night, sort of deals.  Apparently it works.  Not with everyone, of course.  Not every medication works for every person.  I think I'll give it a shot and see how it works!