Watching my 9 year old retriever heave herself up to her feet to go outside and seeing her limping from stiff joints brings home the fact that she won't be with us a whole lot longer.  Her breed isn't known for long-term lives.  We tend to grow extremely attached to our pets and make them more family than some of our own human relatives.  And that's the way it should be.  It breaks my heart to know that someday she won't be with us anymore.

And then I start thinking about how time marches on whether we want it to or not.  Time.  Wow.  I swear it was just a few years ago that I was ten years old and entering fifth grade.  Where did it go???  And forget the fact that the years these days pass more and more fast.  Wasn't it just xmas a few months ago???  And here we are just a few months from it again!  Summers are shorter (at least it seems that way), winters are longer.  And life...continues to happen.

Going back to school was one of the greatest decisions that I could have made and I'm absolutely loving it and my classes.  I'm looking forward to having a career eventually instead just a job.  I'm looking forward to knowing that I'll be happy with my life.  I'm looking forward to having steady and good income...and vacations!  In this respect...I sure wish time would move faster...because I want to get on with living!

Remember back in the 70's when your mom would send you out to play with your friends on  Saturday all day and never see you until it got dark?  And even then you'd call home and beg to stay overnight at a friend's place?  Remember when there were no cell phones and instead when our mom's wanted us home for dinner she'd stand outside and call our name?  Remember when the norm was to play kick the can until dark with the neighborhood kids and everyone was friends and nobody judged anybody else?  Remember when there was no AIDS or worry about stranger danger?  Remember when phones had rotary dials and you had to wait for it to finish rotating back before dialing the next number?  Remember when our parents rarely visited our kindergarten class, if ever?  Remember when we began school each day with the pledge of allegiance?

Where are those days?  What happened?  WHY did what happened happen?  Did humans just evolve into evil?  Do we want to see others hurt that much?

How sad that our children today will never experience that which we did as children at their age.  How sad that kids today have to beware and alert for danger around every corner.  How sad that childhood innocence doesn't last nearly as long as it should.

Thank goodness.  I was really stressing that test!  I didn't do TOO bad on it.  Not great..but I don't think too bad, either.  I suppose we'll see when I get it back on Monday or Wednesday.  Cross your fingers!  I have to maintain a B average if I want to keep getting financial assistance so this is a must.

OK so when I first decided to go back to school I was skeptical somewhat on how I'd do.  Would I be the only older person in a sea of youth or would I fail all of my classes in spite of the fact that I studied very hard?  I had a lot of negative tapes running around in my mind...I still do sometimes.  They're not all gone.  For instance...I'm taking a political science class.  I totally love it.  I love learning about the constitution, federalism, the framers....but when I read the chapters I'm completely lost.  I have no idea what they're saying.  Which is disappointing because it's causing me to believe that I won't do well on the first test (next Wednesday).  I WANT to do well.  I study well and hard.  I'm doing very well in my other classes...more than very well...I'm totally rocking!  But I'm still a little scared about the poli-sci class.  I'll let you know how I do next week on the test when it happens.

Something that kind of bugs me about that particular class, as well, is that I swear everyone doesn't want anything to do with the fat chick.  They'll all pass a paper around for us to write on for role call but it will go all around me (literally) without actually being handed TO me.  I kind of made a comment the other day that I was too big to be invisible.  There were a few shocked stares but still...no paper.  I'm not sure how to read that.  Is it a big deal?  Should I just let it pass by?  I dunno.  I mean, I'd really like to get to know some of these people because they're smart...and I could do well to study with them a time or two.  Maybe I'll ask around today when I go to class.

I took another history of rock music test yesterday and totally aced it.  I knew every question and the bonus ones.  Can you say A++?!  Hahaha.  I really enjoy that class and enjoy studying for it.

Well that's it for now...I actually took a moment amidst my homework to type this out.  I best get back to studying.

The day the world stood still....we will always remember...and we will always survive to see a new day.

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the childre
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

-Alan Jackson

So I first posed the idea of mac salad to my husband a few weeks ago when we were buying groceries.  I told him I needed tuna to put in it...and frozen peas.  And onions.  And miracle whip.  Now...he was less than impressed with the tuna idea..."who puts tuna in mac salad?" he asked.

I DO!!!

And I do because MY mommy did.  I don't know where she got it from cuz she didn't have a mother...but she did have a grandmother...but not sure if it came from that direction or not.  Needless to say...I want to pass down this yummy tradition to my children so they can do the same with theirs.

And all of this leads to the passing down of things...be it recipes, jewelry, traditions...isn't it amazing how families do this?  And how comfortable it feels to have creature items around when you're feeling melancholy and blue?  My mom has given me jewelry that belonged to her grandmother and mother...I want to pass these on someday, too.  I want that opportunity.  I want to tell my children about the items...the recipes...and let them know where it started...who wore them...I hope I get that chance.

So why do we pass down traditions?  How does something silly and simple become a tradition?  When we first do it do we say "this is going to be a tradition?"  Rarely.  It just becomes one.  Because it IS silly...because it IS simple.  Because whatever IT is...it feels good to us.  Thank goodness for traditions...thank goodness for heirlooms. 

And thank goodness for Mac Salad!!!

I'm such a staunch advocate of adopting our pet family members.  Whether it's from a private party or an organization like the Humane Society or various other animal rescues.  We adopted both of our dogs and we haven't been happier with our choices. 



The above is Emily.  She's a flat-coated retriever.  We adopted her shortly after her first birthday from the local humane society.  We'd showed up there looking for a small to medium size dog and found her.  I still remember walking the aisles and seeing all those dogs with the sad eyes...and she was cowering in the corner looking so sad.  We both fell instantly in love with her.  We almost didn't get to adopt her, though, because when the HS called our landlady to see if we could bring her home with us she told them no and that she didn't want a dog that big at our home.  We were so sad.  We had to say goodbye to her...and it ws such a terrible feeling because we KNEW she was supposed to be a member of our family.  You see...she'd already had three homes before us.  She'd been abused and was very shy and skittish around people.  Nothing breaks our heart more than a dog with an abusive background.  But say goodbye we did.  When we got home we had a message from the HS saying that our landlady had called them back and said that it was ok.  Apparently she's a sucker for a homeless doggy, too!  It was already too late to return that same day so we had to wait overnight.  By the time we got there after work the next day we were so excited!  We've had Emily since late 2001 and our lives have been completely blessed by having her in our lives.



This is Peaches.  She's the newest edition to our family and I adopted her last December from a private party.  She was 11 months old and had already had a litter of pups.  Needless to say shortly after I brought her home I had her spayed.  I don't want to build the pet population when there are plenty of pets who already need homes.  She's a Chix (Chihuahua mix).  I adopted her when I was still living out of state and really needed a lap dog to help me get through my extreme depression.  She did the trick.  She's always so happy and bouncy and funny.  She makes me laugh so much.  We're so much better with her in our lives.

Adopt...don't buy.  Please!  You won't regret it!

OK so you all know that insomnia is a major side effect of my anti-depressant medication that I'm taking...and sadly it's one that affects me in a major kind of way.  Bummer.  I've tried every prescription and over the counter meds that you can think of...including natural methods like melatonin and counting sheep.  (The sheep never work...they end up running off in my thoughts and I have to chase them down...how sleepy is THAT???)

So I've been basically up for trying anything.  Warm milk, warm tea, cold tea, milk with chocolate, standing on my head drinking warm milk...ok, so that last one I made up.  But it's always been quite bad.  I would go to bed and toss and turn for hours...literally.  3, 4 or 5 hours later I'd still be lying there awake.  This wasn't an occasional thing but EVERY night.  So if you're smart you'd notice that I'm speaking of this in the past tense...and that is because I've discovered something far better than the best prescription pill there is.  It's called Binaural Beats.  Google it.  Look it up or click on the link I just provided.  It's real and it works!  It's the ONLY thing that works for me.

So if you're interested in learning more...or possibly want to try it send me a message and I'll give you a link to download it.  I promise you won't regret it!  And no...I'm not getting paid by anyone to advertise...I just want people to know that after trying EVERYTHING to sleep...this is what works for me.  And others might be in the same boat.

I had no idea I'd suddenly become so busy once school started.  I'm only going 3/4 time but I feel like suddenly all my extra minutes are just...gone!  *Poof*  Who knew???  So because of that I've been remiss at blogging lately...and for that I am sorry. 

I've made it one of my number one goals to keep the entries up whenever I have a moment.  Of course that also means contending with my husband telling me that he doesn't want me on my computer whilst he is home.  Ahhh the married life.  I'm not sure where the boundaries lie.  Because now I feel as though I'm not supposed to study while he's home either...and I study on my computer.  Let's face it...when it comes to the Federalist Papers numbers 10 and 51 I need the computer to break it down for me.  The old school English language is beyond me.  Why do they have to be so long-winded about things?  Can't they just say outright what it is they're proposing without confusing the heck out of everyone?  Or did everyone speak like that back then?  And if so....they must have all been a smart bunch of people.  Granted we ARE talking about the founding fathers of America...and that they created only the greatest document in world history.  So maybe they WERE all smarty pants...it doesn't mean that I am!  At least not in the same sense!  A smart ASS maybe...but not a smarty PANTS!

That all being said I will add that I love learning this stuff.  If I can find the time to learn when DH isn't home, that is.  Or maybe I can study but not surf?  Again...that line is very gray...maybe I'll just have to discuss with him more about it.  So anyway...my third class doesn't start until September 15 so I'm basically just doing the two classes at the moment.  My political science class and my history of rock music.  The former I'm loving because suddenly the things that I could have cared less about when I was 16 are quite interesting...and then there's the fact that I went back East a couple of years ago and actually saw where a lot of the stuff I'm studying took place.  I mean how cool is that???

And then the rock music history class.  There are a lot of people in there who are there for an easy A...and they said so.  How sad for them...because I'm really loving the class.  We're studying old school blues and jazz and ragtime right now...and we'll be moving along to the Elvis era here shortly.  I'm really having fun with it.