I think I'm back in the game! I lost 4.5 pounds this week, bringing my total to officially 60.5 pounds. Woohoo! I'm so relieved to see a loss again this week. I was worried about getting on the scale this morning, but, of course I did it!

This past week was the first week back of the semester. I had a great time. My fave day is definitely M/W with math and photography. My writing class is ok. I need to give it time, I suppose. But nobody in the class is very outgoing, so I find myself getting bored with nobody to make quips with. I do it myself, but eh...it's just not the same. I dunno why. The teacher is great, not the most exciting, but he's decent. Like I said, I think I just need to give the class a bit more time.

I am forced to sit in a regular desk in writing, as well. BUT, unlike previous times, I actually FIT behind it enough to still be comfortable. Well, as comfortable as one is when sitting in one of those small desks...but I'm pretty stoked about that!

Being back to school makes it a little more difficult to get in all of my water each day, so I've not been doing so well in that respect. I take water with me, of course, but not wanting to have to run to pee every 10 minutes makes drinking a lot of it out of the question. I"m trying to make a concentrated effort to get it all in when I get home, though, but also, when on go to the SPCA after class on T/Th's I don't get home until after 5, which only leaves the evening to get it in. I'm attempting to work around it...we'll see soon enough, how I do.

Of course, I'm still getting in my daily hour of exercise. I refuse to not do that. Even when I wasn't losing the past few weeks, I was still on my treadmill every day for my 60 minutes of working out. My day just doesn't feel complete without doing so, and I find myself even looking forward to it. It's odd...but I'm glad my mind is thinking that way!

One of the random problems that I'm encountering after losing almost 60 pounds is the fact that all of my clothes are falling off. Now, that can be a good thing if I could afford purchasing new clothes. However, I'm unable to do that!!!

For instance, this morning I decided that I'd had enough of an ill-fitting brassiere. I knew I had alternate ones from a previous weight loss foray, but I was pretty sure that I didn't have any that were the proper size that I needed. So, I'm rifling through my lingerie drawer, checking sizes on tags and then tossing items aside haphazardly when I find a fancy bra that I used to wear under a shrug that resembles more of a skimpy top than anything else. It's padded (of course), and has little red cherries on top of a white background and red ruffley lace along the edge. Needless to say, it's not your everyday wearing kind of dealio. Not normally anyway.

It is now!!! It was the right size! So, till I'm able to purchase a more normal brassiere, this one is going to have to do.

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So I weighed in this morning, and I lost 2 pounds. I can't help but wonder if I've fallen into a slump/plateau. Essentially, I've maintained the same weight for the past 3 weeks. I'm not happy about it. I'm thinking about maybe adding some protein to my diet in the hopes that it'll kick-start a loss again. I'm willing to try just about anything at this point. I still have over 100 pounds to go...I can't get stuck now!

I had such good intentions to blog more over the holiday break....and I suppose that I didn't do TOO bad, but certainly not nearly as great as I wanted to. Such is my life. I've been fairly busy with volunteering at the SPCA and am totally loving it. Anyhoo, the new semester begins tomorrow. Math, Writing Fiction, and Digital Photography. I'm really looking forward to it. This is going to be a great semester...I can feel it!

Have you ever stopped to consider just how many lives you touch in the course of a lifetime? How about in a year? Month? You may not even realize that you ARE touching a life, after all, you're just living your own life the best that you can. But there are those precious times when you are touched by others around you, through thoughtful words or actions, or even just their presence, and that can stay with you for the rest of your life.

Each school year I think about things of this nature. I realize that the friendships that I've made in the classes that I've taken may not carry over into the rest of the years ahead. That doesn't demean the relationships in any way, but instead creates a sort of unique kinship...a bond formed by a common thread for only a few months, yet creates a lasting and respectful brush against a beautiful person and spirit.

Touching people around you doesn't need to be so profound. In fact, more times than not, it isn't. Often it's in the kind smile as your eyes meet a homeless man, seeing him and not looking through him. Perhaps it is in the simple motion of allowing a car merge ahead of you in heavy traffic, or even stopping to allow someone to cross the street. Simple and small gestures are truly what life is all about. Oh sure, we tend to remember the big things in our lives - the mountains. But we forget that it's the small hills that eventually make the mountains what they are, so large and grandiose.

Remember, as you head off into the rest of your week, to take care of the mannerisms that you set forth, the examples that you set for your children, or those around you. It is those small, cherished moments, that can last forever to someone else.

Yo peeps, don't forget to add your blog to the blog hop roll that you can find on the left. And, if you already have, be sure to add it to your blog so that others can add theirs, as well. The entire list will be there. Just sayin'. :D

Does anyone actually heed the advice of medical professionals about leaving zits alone and not popping them? Do even the medical professionals heed their own advice in this case? Doubtful...really doubtful.

Well, this week's weigh-in doesn't prove to be good news. The darn scale claims that I've gained 2 pounds. WTF? I'm blaming in on my skinny lattes. It's pretty much the only thing that I'm doing different. So no more of those for a few weeks! I've been getting plenty of exercise, not only on the treadmill but with walking the dogs down at the shelter. I just hope next week proves to be more fruitful!

Do you think that we enjoy having to worry about whether or not we'll be able to fit into a seat in a waiting room?

Do you think that we like to ask for seatbelt extenders on a flight, or even have to pay for an extra seat?

Do you think that we enjoy being so big that it's hard for us to wipe our own ass after a BM (or having to twist every which way in order to do so?)

Do you think that we like not being able to walk from our car in a close parking spot to the door and getting winded and out of breath?

Do you think that we enjoy sweating profusely with minor movement?

Do you think that we like getting looks and ugly words from people we don't even know?

Do you think that we enjoy the way that society thinks that we are lazy and slobbish?

Do you think that we like being discriminated against for a job interview that we are more than qualified for?

Do you think that we enjoy being self-conscious in public with what we eat?

Do you think that we like being chosen last in gym class?

Do you think that we enjoy being the butt of many jokes?

Do you think that we like to laugh at our own clumsiness because if we didn't we'd burst out crying?

Do you think that we enjoy having to worry about tattoo placement because if we gain or lose weight it may affect the appearance?

Do you think that we like to deal with health and fertility issues?

Do you think that we enjoy adding an extender to our car seatbelt?

There are so many things about being fat that the average person just has no idea about. Instead, they're thinking that we're all lazy slobs who sit around watching reality shows and eating Cheetos all day. Not that that doesn't sound fun, and all...but most of the fatties that I know have meaningful and fulfilling lives and families. And most of the fatties that I know don't enjoy the fact that they're fat. I know that I never have. I accept that I am fat. But that doesn't mean that I like it! Which is one of the reasons why I'm getting healthier at the moment. Being fat is not fun. It's not a choice that anyone actually CHOOSES to live with. And it's certainly not nearly as easy as "just eat less and work out more" and you'll lose it. Perhaps a lot of us ARE doing that...but you just see the specific snapshot of who we are at that moment. You don't see us working hard on the treadmill, or swimming pool. You don't see that we're getting by on 1000 calories or less each day. All you see is that moment, that specific glimpse of us at that particular time. You have no idea what we are going through or what our choices are. But let me just tell you...we don't need the snide comments, the looks, the sidewards step...we are aware that we're fat. Are you aware of how much it hurts; how many tears are shed? Next time you see a fattie, be kind, be polite, and know that we're people, too. And we certainly don't like being fat just as much as you do.

Loving, caring, perfect for me, lucky, blessed, rich in what counts, loyal, beautiful, sexy, brilliant, good-natured, amazing, studious, liberal, charming, kissable, devoted, pleasant, warm, important, playful, intelligent...

What do all of these words have in common? Positive affirmation!

I rarely get depressed, but when I do I just remember how blessed I am to have a loving husband and family. We have a roof over our heads, our health, and enough to pay the bills. I tell myself a few of the positive affirmations and I feel almost instantly better.

I also love to listen to this song...

Does it seem as though most of your life has been an endless stream of "I'll start tomorrow"'s or "I've blown it, I need to start over."? Mine was until about 9 months ago. Let me tell you a little bit about what I'm doing to help me gain a healthier life while, at the same time, getting into shape.

About a year ago I signed up with Isagenix (link on right). I started it up, and started losing weight...but my heart wasn't in it. I knew it wasn't...and I felt that I was just wasting the money. We all know that this doesn't happen by itself, nor does it happen easily...we have to feel it in our gut that we want this...that we want it BAD. That we'd do almost anything to get it done. I didn't feel that. Until about 3 months into my Isagenix. Suddenly, I did want it. Suddenly I needed it. Oh, my health was fine, overall, but I could barely walk to class without getting winded. I couldn't get into BED without getting winded. When I stopped one day and took stock of just what was happening to me, I realized that only I could make the changes that I needed to to make it happen.

I started the Isagenix again, with my heart self this time, and began to feel a bit more energy. I wasn't exercising, and I knew I needed to start if I wanted to succeed with any of this...but it was hard. I was over 300 pounds at 4'11" and it felt like I was moving a ton. A lot of you know how it feels to just not feel that energy that you need to get going... The Isagenix helped a lot with that. It's natural, so I didn't feel like I was adding to a regime that already included a lot of pills, and I truly felt the energy slowly starting through me. But, I still wasn't able to get onto my treadmill. I just didn't want to. It's almost like I'd built up a block of some kind. I lost about 10 pounds with just what I was doing.

Then mid-July, I decided it was time. I needed to bite the bullet and just get on the darn treadmill and go for a walk! So, I took the dogs back with me, opened the door so they could run in and out, and I started walking. I walked for 20 minutes the first time, and it was a very, very slow walk. But when I finished...I felt awesome! Like I'd accomplished a huge task that I'd been putting off for a great while. I knew it was the endorphins still zinging around my body, but I loved the feeling. I remembered the feeling from 15 years ago when I was in shape. The following day, though, it was back to, "I don't feel like it." It was at that time that I sternly told myself OUT LOUD, mind you, that this was it for me. It's now or never. There are things that I want to get done with my life and to do them I need to be healthy! And I wanted to get them done before I got much older! I told myself (yes, still out loud) that I needed to make myself get on the treadmill every single day. I got on that day, and did another 20 minute workout.

Around that same time, I switched PCP's and found one that I absolutely love. She took the time to listen to what I had to say, what I felt I needed, and then she helped me get that scientific side of me started on the right track. She prescribed Metformin for my insulin imbalance, which removed the cravings for sweets that I was living with on a constant basis. It also made me feel full so that I didn't WANT to eat as much. She also prescribed Phentermine (you remember Fen/Phen, right?) Phentermine is the drug that doesn't give you heart murmers and the like! Haha. I call it legal speed. It speeds up my metabolism so that I have more energy and my body burns up the calories and fat a lot faster.

So, with all of that, plus the Isagenix, I started feeling pretty damn good! I made a goal with myself out loud (seems the only time I listen and pay attention to myself is when I talk out loud!) that I'd get on the treadmill every day, no matter if I felt like it or not. And that on the days when I especially didn't feel motivated, I especially needed to do it because that was when I needed it the most. From that point on, I walked every day, 7 days a week...no breaks whatsoever, even when my mom came to visit. I walked for a solid 45 days before I realized that no longer did I not feel like doing it when I woke up in the mornings. I started allowing myself a one day break each week. My doctor told me that she wanted me to get up to 60 minutes of cardio in each day and so I slowly worked up to that. Slowly. I didn't get there overnight, by any means. It was frustrating, it drove me crazy, but I got there. I've been at the 60 minute mark for about 3 months now, and the past 2 months I've been including steep inclines intermittently so that I can start building up my larger muscles (gluts, hams, quads) so that they, in turn, will help burn calories faster, as well.

All of that aside, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I am officially addicted to working out. Our internet had gone down the night before and there was a tech scheduled to swing by sometime yesterday between 8 and 8. I hate it when they don't give a better time window! Anyway, my husband always wakes me up before he leaves for work to bring me my pills and after he left I couldn't go back to sleep. I kept thinking to myself that I needed to exercise but I didn't want to miss the tech coming to the door. The dogs would be in the back with me so they wouldn't be able to hear the knock on the door, and I certainly wouldn't be able to hear it over the music. And then afterward I shower, and I didn't want to miss the tech when I was doing that. I was laying there, contemplating it all, worrying about it, because I didn't want to miss my exercising! Needless to say, I dragged my butt out of bed while it was still not even completely light out, and got on the treadmill and got in my workout and shower. I was happy afterward, satisfied, and felt that I could get the rest of my day finished with no stress. Do you know what I'm saying here??? I NEEDED and WANTED to workout. I was freaking out when I thought I'd have to miss it!!! I laughed when I realized that. I'm in a good spot these days.

I've lost almost 60 pounds now, in about 6 months time. My doctor says that I'm losing it at a perfect rate, I go in and see her every 3 months so she can monitor how I'm doing. I strongly recommend you get your doctor in on your weight loss program. It helps!

In the meantime, I've also been teaching myself how to eat. I've never once denied myself something that I wanted. BUT...I've eaten it in moderation. Rarely do I eat an entire snickers bar at once...instead, I only take a bite and put it away. Often I even forget I have it! I just need one bite to satisfy a craving...and that's what I take. If I feel like McD's fries...I get fries. Pizza? I eat pizza. But...I've learned to control my portion sizes. I can't eat 3 double cheeseburgers, large fry and a large vanilla iced coffee in one sitting anymore. I'd throw up! But, I eat some fries, a burger, and I do still drink a coffee on occasion, although I try not to get them at McD's because of the high sugar content. Bottom line...don't deny yourself anything. If you do, it'll just cause a binge later on, and we all know how those can be! K and I have also been buying ingredients and making dinners instead of buying boxed stuff and pre-made. It's not good for us to eat all of those preservatives.

I'm also drinking a lot of water. I stopped drinking soda several years ago. I'll have one now and then and it's just not good to me. It just isn't. I'd rather have water than anything else. And I try to drink (and most days it happens) at least 3 litres of water per day. Drinking water actually helps a lot with stuff other than weight loss, as well. It helps with regulating BM's, keeps you hydrated so you don't feel as much need for salt, it keeps you feeling full, and it's just plain healthy for you!

So, in all, I've been doing Isagenix, exercising, seeing my doctor, drinking lots of water, and learning portion control...and it's all working. I'm really happy about my loss so far, and hope to see it continue to fall off. I don't want to be thin...but I do want to be healthy. I feel that I'm well on my way to seeing that goal.

I am currently watching this on streaming Netflix. The documentary itself is poorly put together (music is a bit too loud when there is talking) but the information is incredibly astounding. It is called "Killer At Large". I highly recommend watching it.

I've added a new link to a page on my blog for a blog hop. I do hope to see everyone add their own unique blog to the list. You can find the link on the left side of the blog!

Well here it is, the start of the new year. I don't do silly resolutions anymore, as they always seem to drop by the wayside 2 weeks in...what I do is make realistic goals for myself throughout the year. I've achieved so much this past year with my weight....wow, over 50 pounds and going strong. I wanted so much to start an exercise regime and get my heart healthier but I could just never find that motivation that I needed...I found it, somewhere deep inside me, and now I'm doing awesome with exercising for an hour, 6 days a week. And on the resting day...I actually miss it! Ha. It does get easier the more I lose, though, since the more I lose, the more energy I feel. It all affects the others and creates a nice snowballing effect.

My Hot 100 goals were to drink at least 2.5L of water per day. I am still struggling with this one from time to time, but overall I'm doing rather well with it. Obviously on the weeks that I do better at it, I do see results on the scale.

I also made the goal to keep up my exercise. As I've previously covered above, I'm doing so great with this one. I'm extremely proud of myself for sticking with it, no matter my mood or how little I want to get on from time to time. I figure it is those times that I need it the most and sometimes quite literally have an argument in my head about how much of a quitter I'd be if I didn't get on. That's generally enough right now...I've quit so many times...I don't want to quit this time.

School, well, it's between semesters but I can't wait for the semester to start. I never know quite what to do with myself when school's not in session. Summer kills me. What can I say? I love to learn! I'm really looking forward to my classes coming up. I've signed up for writing fiction (you may have noticed my as yet to be posted on blog), digital photography, and of course, math.

Now for the weigh-in. I went off of my food plan a few times this past week and was actually dreading getting on the scale. I never did stop exercising, though, for which I'm quite happy about. Anyway, I really felt that I'd gained and certainly not lost. However...getting on the scales a little bit ago I was pleasantly gifted with a beautiful loss of THREE pounds! I did say that right...3 pounds! Woohoo!!! Go me!

A little something to make you smile...