Does it seem as though most of your life has been an endless stream of "I'll start tomorrow"'s or "I've blown it, I need to start over."? Mine was until about 9 months ago. Let me tell you a little bit about what I'm doing to help me gain a healthier life while, at the same time, getting into shape.

About a year ago I signed up with Isagenix (link on right). I started it up, and started losing weight...but my heart wasn't in it. I knew it wasn't...and I felt that I was just wasting the money. We all know that this doesn't happen by itself, nor does it happen easily...we have to feel it in our gut that we want this...that we want it BAD. That we'd do almost anything to get it done. I didn't feel that. Until about 3 months into my Isagenix. Suddenly, I did want it. Suddenly I needed it. Oh, my health was fine, overall, but I could barely walk to class without getting winded. I couldn't get into BED without getting winded. When I stopped one day and took stock of just what was happening to me, I realized that only I could make the changes that I needed to to make it happen.

I started the Isagenix again, with my heart self this time, and began to feel a bit more energy. I wasn't exercising, and I knew I needed to start if I wanted to succeed with any of this...but it was hard. I was over 300 pounds at 4'11" and it felt like I was moving a ton. A lot of you know how it feels to just not feel that energy that you need to get going... The Isagenix helped a lot with that. It's natural, so I didn't feel like I was adding to a regime that already included a lot of pills, and I truly felt the energy slowly starting through me. But, I still wasn't able to get onto my treadmill. I just didn't want to. It's almost like I'd built up a block of some kind. I lost about 10 pounds with just what I was doing.

Then mid-July, I decided it was time. I needed to bite the bullet and just get on the darn treadmill and go for a walk! So, I took the dogs back with me, opened the door so they could run in and out, and I started walking. I walked for 20 minutes the first time, and it was a very, very slow walk. But when I finished...I felt awesome! Like I'd accomplished a huge task that I'd been putting off for a great while. I knew it was the endorphins still zinging around my body, but I loved the feeling. I remembered the feeling from 15 years ago when I was in shape. The following day, though, it was back to, "I don't feel like it." It was at that time that I sternly told myself OUT LOUD, mind you, that this was it for me. It's now or never. There are things that I want to get done with my life and to do them I need to be healthy! And I wanted to get them done before I got much older! I told myself (yes, still out loud) that I needed to make myself get on the treadmill every single day. I got on that day, and did another 20 minute workout.

Around that same time, I switched PCP's and found one that I absolutely love. She took the time to listen to what I had to say, what I felt I needed, and then she helped me get that scientific side of me started on the right track. She prescribed Metformin for my insulin imbalance, which removed the cravings for sweets that I was living with on a constant basis. It also made me feel full so that I didn't WANT to eat as much. She also prescribed Phentermine (you remember Fen/Phen, right?) Phentermine is the drug that doesn't give you heart murmers and the like! Haha. I call it legal speed. It speeds up my metabolism so that I have more energy and my body burns up the calories and fat a lot faster.

So, with all of that, plus the Isagenix, I started feeling pretty damn good! I made a goal with myself out loud (seems the only time I listen and pay attention to myself is when I talk out loud!) that I'd get on the treadmill every day, no matter if I felt like it or not. And that on the days when I especially didn't feel motivated, I especially needed to do it because that was when I needed it the most. From that point on, I walked every day, 7 days a week...no breaks whatsoever, even when my mom came to visit. I walked for a solid 45 days before I realized that no longer did I not feel like doing it when I woke up in the mornings. I started allowing myself a one day break each week. My doctor told me that she wanted me to get up to 60 minutes of cardio in each day and so I slowly worked up to that. Slowly. I didn't get there overnight, by any means. It was frustrating, it drove me crazy, but I got there. I've been at the 60 minute mark for about 3 months now, and the past 2 months I've been including steep inclines intermittently so that I can start building up my larger muscles (gluts, hams, quads) so that they, in turn, will help burn calories faster, as well.

All of that aside, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I am officially addicted to working out. Our internet had gone down the night before and there was a tech scheduled to swing by sometime yesterday between 8 and 8. I hate it when they don't give a better time window! Anyway, my husband always wakes me up before he leaves for work to bring me my pills and after he left I couldn't go back to sleep. I kept thinking to myself that I needed to exercise but I didn't want to miss the tech coming to the door. The dogs would be in the back with me so they wouldn't be able to hear the knock on the door, and I certainly wouldn't be able to hear it over the music. And then afterward I shower, and I didn't want to miss the tech when I was doing that. I was laying there, contemplating it all, worrying about it, because I didn't want to miss my exercising! Needless to say, I dragged my butt out of bed while it was still not even completely light out, and got on the treadmill and got in my workout and shower. I was happy afterward, satisfied, and felt that I could get the rest of my day finished with no stress. Do you know what I'm saying here??? I NEEDED and WANTED to workout. I was freaking out when I thought I'd have to miss it!!! I laughed when I realized that. I'm in a good spot these days.

I've lost almost 60 pounds now, in about 6 months time. My doctor says that I'm losing it at a perfect rate, I go in and see her every 3 months so she can monitor how I'm doing. I strongly recommend you get your doctor in on your weight loss program. It helps!

In the meantime, I've also been teaching myself how to eat. I've never once denied myself something that I wanted. BUT...I've eaten it in moderation. Rarely do I eat an entire snickers bar at once...instead, I only take a bite and put it away. Often I even forget I have it! I just need one bite to satisfy a craving...and that's what I take. If I feel like McD's fries...I get fries. Pizza? I eat pizza. But...I've learned to control my portion sizes. I can't eat 3 double cheeseburgers, large fry and a large vanilla iced coffee in one sitting anymore. I'd throw up! But, I eat some fries, a burger, and I do still drink a coffee on occasion, although I try not to get them at McD's because of the high sugar content. Bottom line...don't deny yourself anything. If you do, it'll just cause a binge later on, and we all know how those can be! K and I have also been buying ingredients and making dinners instead of buying boxed stuff and pre-made. It's not good for us to eat all of those preservatives.

I'm also drinking a lot of water. I stopped drinking soda several years ago. I'll have one now and then and it's just not good to me. It just isn't. I'd rather have water than anything else. And I try to drink (and most days it happens) at least 3 litres of water per day. Drinking water actually helps a lot with stuff other than weight loss, as well. It helps with regulating BM's, keeps you hydrated so you don't feel as much need for salt, it keeps you feeling full, and it's just plain healthy for you!

So, in all, I've been doing Isagenix, exercising, seeing my doctor, drinking lots of water, and learning portion control...and it's all working. I'm really happy about my loss so far, and hope to see it continue to fall off. I don't want to be thin...but I do want to be healthy. I feel that I'm well on my way to seeing that goal.