Ya know...last night I was laying next to my husband in bed...he was
sound asleep...and I thought to myself..."I'm happy."  We're poor...but
money isn't everything.  We've been in better places monetarily in our
marriage but my little family is healthy and not starving.  We have a
roof over our heads.  And we have each other.  I am happy.

Lately I've been so up and down in my emotions and moods that often I don't know how I'm going to be feeling from one day to the next.  I'm glad that I'm taking antidepressants because I'm not sure how much worse off I'd be if I weren't.  And I've often told myself..."maybe life would just be easier if I weren't alive in it."  But last night I realized that I'm ok.  I'm going to be ok.  I'm going back to school and making a better life for myself.  I'm still searching for work (the vet position didn't work out) and we're poor as poor can be.  But as I held onto Kurt's hand last night in the dark I realized that I don't want to die.  I don't want my husband's heart to break like that.  I don't want my family's hearts to break.  And most of all...I want to see how my life turns out!