In getting back in touch with my cousins and other relatives from my dad's family, I've learned some disturbing news.  The first, I can't remember if I mentioned this already in my previous blog, my Aunt R had died back in 2007.  I was saddened.  She is an integral part of my childhood memories.  To know that I will never see her again is difficult for me to comprehend, yet I must.  The second, my Uncle F has passed away, as well.  I was floored upon hearing that news.  So much has happened that I didn't know about...so much sadness.  My uncle didn't have any services, though, so I suppose there's not much that I could have done, anyway.

My dad has been holding a pretty large and drastic grudge against my Aunt R, though, for the past 15 years, or so.  He kinda got himself off track after my folks first split up and he ended up on a lot of people's shit lists (including mine); at which point he disappeared for 14 years.  Nobody had heard from him.  Nobody knew where he was; how he was.  It was like he was just gone...from existance.  For a few years, I'd check in with my Aunt R to see if she'd heard anything from him...of course, the answer was always negative.  Eventually, I moved on with my life, giving up on the idea that I'd see him again.

And now I learn of my dad's two siblings' deaths.  He's lost a brother and a sister.  I wonder if that will be cause enough for him to reach out to his remaining family again.  I'm truly hoping so.  So now, K and I are planning a trip over the hill this coming weekend, to see my dad.  I need to break the news of their deaths to him.  I'm not really sure how to do it...or what his reaction will be.  How would I feel if someone were to tell me that my sister had died?  I honestly don't know.  I love my sister, no matter our huge and vast differences, and, to me, she's just always out THERE.  I always know that I can pick up the phone and call her if I wanted to...not that I do that very often....but, for instance, her birthday is coming up...I'll call her then.  What would I do if I couldn't do that anymore?  Knowing that whatever disagreements we had going on could no longer be resolved...  I love my sister.  I hope my dad cares about his siblings the way that I do about my sister.

I suppose I needed to go see him again soon, anyway.  He's been calling me with computer/internet questions...he'll never learn if I don't show him at least a few times!