I think I may have painted my step-dad in the wrong sort of light because I didn't get my SB card from him! That's so not true! I just wanted to add that for the past several years he's purchased Hummel collector's plates for sisters for both myself and my sister. This year was the final pieces of the set...and I believe there are 10 all total. These are not cheap. They're beautiful and extremely thoughtful on his part. He's always treated me as a daughter, and I think of him as my dad. He's everything that I wish my own father was. This year he also gave me a beautiful cross/heart necklace with a lovely engraved saying on the back. I wear it from time to time and when I do it always reminds me of him. He's given me so much, both in love and material things...I'm ashamed that I may have painted him in a bad light.

Randy...I'm sorry. I love you and appreciate you...and I'm so glad for the large part that you play in my life. You are, and always will be, a blessing to me. Thank you for everything that you've done for me, for us.

(This is a pic that's a few years old...
but he's just as awesome now as he
was then!)

I've started volunteering at the SPCA in Reno. I really enjoy it so far and am able to finally get my cat fix in since K's allergic and we can't have one of our own. The dogs are awesome to play with and walk and the atmosphere there is hopeful. I enjoy being there...and I feel like I'm actually doing something good with the time that would otherwise be spent playing online or worrying about money!

This particular little lady has captured my heart. Her name is Fuzz and she loves to snuggle and be close. She eventually took a cat nap laying back in my arms, cradled like a baby.

Dear blog...

I'm so sorry that I've neglected you so much this past month, or so. Things have been kind of crazy in my life. And even when it wasn't crazy, I just didn't feel like blogging about it. Finding the right words to define something that I have no idea how to define is kind of hard...so sometimes, I just have to say enough for now. Of course, I have kept up on every single Hot 100 posts...even whilst on holiday over Thanksgiving. (I'm aiming to get those peppers!) Ha.

The semester ended a couple of weeks ago with me receiving a 4.0 GPA. I was pretty excited about this fact, because doing so well in math has helped me have a more positive attitude about it all. I'm actually starting to actually LIKE math. *Gasp* Yes, I did say like. I like how there's no gray areas in math....it's cut and dried. This is how you do it, this is the answer. There are no exceptions. Yada yada. I'm surprising myself at how much I'm truly enjoying it.

The last month of the semester I was also working on my English paper...and it was the hardest one that I've had to write, so far. I was stressing over it and just really hoping that it was good enough for an A. I struggled with it...but, alas, I shouldn't have. Everything turned out just fine.

I randomly got a call from my dad about a month ago, as well. He was drunk at the time, and it was hard to talk to him like that. Apparently it's been colder than he's used to where he lives and since he only has warm weather clothes, he doesn't go out in it. So instead of getting his daily exercise and social time he stays holed up inside and drinks beer and smokes all day. This is not a good activity for anyone...but especially him. It prevents him from having any human contact, as well as all that beer is causing him to put on weight again. And he's going just a little senile, as well. He has these crazy conspiracies about people out to get him.

Anyway, during the conversation I asked him if he had decided whether or not he was going to come to Reno to visit us over xmas. He started rambling on about how he doesn't owe Reno anything and Reno doesn't owe him...and that he left Reno on a bad note. Now, when my dad and I first started talking again after so many years, he kept telling me that there were things that he wanted to tell me about that time...but that he was waiting for the right time. Suddenly, I think he believes he's already told me. When I asked him why he left Reno, he told me, "I've already told you, Shauna, but you just never listen..." I told him that he hadn't told me anything about what went on when we hadn't seen each other...and once again, in his drunken slur and booze induced, über emotional way, he once again tells me that I never listen to him when he talks. Where the hell does he get that shit from??? Maybe when I was 14 and thought I knew more than he did...but that's certainly not the case NOW!

Needless to say, it really affected me and now I'm afraid to call him to talk because I worry that he'll start on another tirade again. I didn't see or talk to my dad for 14 years...I had no idea where he was, or what he was doing. I had no idea if he was even alive. I'm enjoying getting to know him while we're both adults, but this crap with him thinking this stuff about me is over and above....

The holidays are rarely good for me these days. With each year that passes, I see my friends' kids growing up, celebrating xmas, settling into a quiet suburbian life, whilst K and I are struggling with my being unemployed and going to school. We don't celebrate xmas because we have no money. People say that it's about giving and not receiving.... Well...we don't have money to give...therefore we don't receive. We received 2 gifts this year, one from my mom and step-dad, and one from our wonderful friends, Richard and Holly. The generosity from the latter never ceases to amaze us. K and Richard essentially grew up together and it hasn't been until we added them both on Facebook that we began to be more involved with them and their lives, and vice versa. My mom and step-dad sent us a check with a note to spend it on something fun for ourselves. Well, most of us know what happens with checks. It gets deposited in the bank and bills get paid. I tried to explain to her that we need things from our wish list...and that there were plenty of GC's on there to choose from...but alas, we got a check...which went towards our power bill, I believe. :) Hey...it was used for a good cause, at least.

It's funny, really, but ever since I met my step-dad he'd started giving me a Starbucks gift card every xmas. Then last year he forgot and I mentioned it to him over Thanksgiving while we were visiting. He said he could have swore he'd sent me one last year and that he'd be sure to remember this year. What he doesn't realize is that THAT is the ONE thing that I look forward to every year. Not money, not anything else. The one thing that I have found the most enjoyment in was the Starbucks card that he used to send. What can I say? I'm a SB girl! So I was pretty excited for this year's card...I thought for sure that he'd send me one. But he didn't. I know that I should never expect something like that...it makes me seem rather frivolous and greedy...but I couldn't help (and still can't) but feel let down and despondent about not receiving one. When one doesn't even receive a gift of any sort from her husband, there are very few things that one can look forward to....that was mine.

Add to all of that the fact that I'm married to scrooge, whom doesn't appreciate even decorating or carols...and it makes for a very sad and very depressing time of year. I'm very happy to see the end in sight so that we can get on with our lives....and hopefully this year will bring more cheer than this last one.

We attended an xmas eve Christian service with our friends, Richard and Holly, and had a fun time. We went over to their house afterward and had pizza and eggnog and rum. The company was fun, the atmosphere was certainly more pleasant than at our house, and for once, I felt a bit of the spirit of the holiday. It was good.

In reminiscence of my post written previously, I feel the need to reconvey the same message once again.

1) I might not like your songs (which is VERY likely)
2) It starts all over again ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE
3) It disturbs the current song I’m listening to
4) I get a sudden heartattack when the song starts playing out of no where.
5) It slows down my internet.
6) I will leave your blog RIGHT AWAY.

This past week has obviously been rather different in terms of food intake and the like. However, that being said, I still managed to lose .5 pounds. I'll take it! I attribute it to the fact that I didn't stop my exercise regime. I Continued my 60 minute daily with my uber hills and all!

As for my Hot 100 goals...

My official grades were posted and I received A's in all classes. Woohoo!

My water intake was so-so this week. I could have done better. The days that I did get it in, I usually got more than my 3L so I consider that I did fairly well there, as well.

Exercise...well, that's been the easiest goal that I've had and thankfully I've not struggled with it much. I struggle sometimes to get ON and start...but I'm always so very grateful after I finish that I did. I just love how I feel afterwards. It's amazing. :)

Over the past 20 years it's been beaten into us that smoking around children/babies is wrong. My question is...if you smoke, do you do so around your indoor pets? Do you believe that their health balances precariously, just as small children's does, in your hands, or is an animal's health less important because, after all, it IS just an animal?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one...and please vote in the embedded poll!

Thanks!

If you have indoor pets, do you smoke around them?

I had a .5 pound loss this week. I'm okay with it because I know that, a) It's THAT time of the month, b) I didn't do so well with my water intake this week and, c) I had 3 lattes this week (all non-fat, sugar free...but still). All of those combined makes for a lean loss...but like I said, I'm okay with it since I know all of that...and besides, it's a loss, not a gain! Sweet!

As for the rest of my goals for Hot 100...I am doing awesome. Still doing my exercise, and...the semester has ended with me having a 4.0 GPA. Woohoo! I'm totally stoked!

I've had a great week! Only two more finals to take, and I'm free for a month before the new classes start! Woohoo!

I've been working out like a fiend, adding my steep inclines to work up my larger calorie-burning muscles in my legs. It paid off in a 2.5 pound loss, making me officially over my 50 pound weight loss mark by .5 pounds. Woohoo! I'm pretty stoked about that! (As if you couldn't tell!)

My goals for Hot 100 have been good, as well. Water intake, exercise, and school are all doing great. There were some days this past week that I got more than my goal of 2L of water in (more like 4L), and one day that I barely got in 1L but for the most part...obviously, I did pretty darn good! I'm happy with the end results.

This past week has allowed me to ponder on a lot of things that I'm thankful for in my life. Perhaps I always get this way during this time of year as I see the hub-bub of the holidays consume people; the retail rat race controlling the masses. There are a lot of things that I'm thankful for...my husband, most definitely, because he loves me in spite of my ditziness and fatness, and he keeps me grounded when I most need it. I've never known a man who was more perfect for me than him. I guess that makes it a good thing that I married him!

I'm thankful for our kids, they're growing and thriving and as far as I can tell...they're all pretty spoiled and happy!

I'm thankful for the opportunity that I'm able to get to know my dad again. After so many years of having him absent from my life, it's so nice to not only have him back in it, but somewhat nearby so that K and I can go see him from time to time.

I'm thankful for my step-dad. I've known him less than 10 years but I feel as though he's always been there as my father. He's so very giving and supportive and would give the shirt off of his back if he knew it would help. I couldn't ask for a better man as a dad and as a husband for my mom.

I'm thankful for the chance that I've had to reunite, albeit via facebook only at this point, with family on my dad's side. After my grandmother died I sort of lost touch with them and it's wonderful to be able to be back in contact with them, despite the fact that along with the reunion online, I also learned of the deaths of a favorite aunt and an uncle. I'd have liked to have known about my aunt and have attended her funeral. I guess my uncle didn't have a service.

I'm thankful for my sister, without her I'd never have an example of what not to do in life! I say that as a good thing. She just never seems to have her life under control and it saddens me that my sweet niece is a product of such instability. It is what it is, though.

Finally, I am thankful for my mom. I often complain about some of the things that she does, and I tell myself that I won't do some of those things...but overall, she's always been there for me. Without her presence in my life growing up, I'd have turned out more messed up than I am! Kidding, kidding... While my dad was rarely around when I was an older child, my mom was always there. She raised me well, with a good set of morals and I don't think that I turned out so bad. She's my mom, I will always love her, no matter how imperfect she is...after all, nobody IS perfect. I know that I'm not! She's done her best to always have a home for me to return to, she and my step-dad put me up for over a year while I was working in Utah a couple of years ago. I don't know how long she'll keep her house, the house where I grew up, because I know that they would both prefer a ranch style house, with just one floor. But for the time being, it's always great to go "home". I love to remember parts of my childhood and where they happened in the house and yard...I will miss that if it goes away, but will certainly understand if it does.

There is one thing that bums me out, though, and that is that I don't have many pics of us with me as a child. I wish that weren't the case.

Needless to say, I wouldn't be the woman that I am today without the care and love of my mom. We may not have been the most demonstrative family in the world, but I always knew that I was loved by her actions.

I love you mom!

There are a lot of things that fat people have to deal with besides discrimination and lack of energy. And a lot of it is stuff that the average person has no idea that we have to deal with. If you're of a significantly larger size then you'll know just where I'm coming from when I talk about this.

One of the things that obese and super obese people have to deal with on a semi-regular basis, is the smell. Don't kid yourself...you all know what I'm talking about whether you want to admit it or not. If you're morbidly obese then you've been there, done that...and hopefully, by now, have learned how to deal with it so that it's not so malodorous. I know that when I was younger it used to mortify me. But, as you mature, you learn tricks so that you don't have to worry about it affecting not only your life but those around you, as well.

I'll first address the WHY of it all. As fatties, we have folds of skin where most people do not: under our bellies, boobies, love handles, behind our knees, and even in those more private regions. Because of that, they get sweaty/humid and yeast and bacteria grow, often even causing sores, which then release a clear liquid that the body is trying to clean itself with. With all of those factors combined, it's no wonder that it begins to smell funky. And funky it is! Never fear, though, for there are ways around this unpleasant odor.

The first trick that I ever learned was using plain, old deodorant/antiperspirant. Not just under your arms, but in all of the folds that you can reach! I use mine on my love handles and behind my knees. Those are my problem areas. But it will work wherever there are folds of skin. Use it twice a day and you'll never smell the repugnant smell again.

There are also other things that people do like using a blow dryer multiple times each day on their folds to ensure that they stay dry...however, that's not always an easy solution as I'm not sure about you, but I don't make a habit of carrying a blow dryer around in my purse!

Nystatin is another useful took to use between folds to help prevent yeast from thriving, combined with Polysporin Powder to help with the smell.

I've tried using lotions and potions and powders to the problem, and the best one that I ever came up with was the deodorant. Do you have any suggestions to help control the rancid smell that is associated with being obese? Share if you do!

Hey everyone! So it's been a week since Thanksgiving, and even with my waning enthusiasm, I still lost over 3 pounds, to put me below where I was before the holiday. I'm at my lowest weight by 1.5 pounds that I've been since this attempt at getting healthy. I only have 2 more pounds until I hit the big 5-0. I'm ready to pass it and get on with the next big milestone of 1-0-0!!! Now that will be fun!

As for my goals, as much as I wasn't feeling it this whole week, I still got on the treadmill and did my hour of cardio. I amp'ed up my regime by adding extreme inclines, then a smaller incline, then über steep again. I'm really trying to work my quads, hams, and gluts by doing that, because, as we all know, muscles burn calories faster! I'm gonna have a J-Lo butt before all is said and done, at this rate! But hey...at least she's still a size 6!!!

I'm doing super great in school...I had a math test last Thursday and I believe I did pretty well. I'm not going to assume much, though, as the last time that I assumed, I didn't do as well as I expected! Hopefully we'll have our grades back on Tuesday so I can know for sure.

My water intake has waned a little this past week, and I'm really making an effort to step it up again. I think that by doing that, that I'll be able to lose more quicker.

So there you have it. My weekly update...and as much as I was dreading getting on the scale this morning, it's all turned out for the good.