Today I was at the dentist having my teeth cleaned and my jaw started getting all sore, as it usually does, about halfway through.  When I half-heartedly joked about it to my hygienist she asked if I wanted something called a bite block...something that props the mouth open so I don't have to hold it open and my jaw can rest.  How cool!  How ingenious!  I told her that yes, I would love to try one!

So off she goes to collect one.  She came back and began to fit it into my mouth when she says..."now, of course these are from the children's sizes."

(Silence)

Children's sizes?  Wait a minute!  This isn't fair!  WHY am I short, like a child, have small hands and feet, like a child, and yet am over 300 pounds???  It's obvious that I'm something's idea of a sick and twisted joke!  I mean, really!  If the main part of me is huge...you'd THINK the rest of me would be, as well, in comparison.  No? 

Irony can bite my big, white bum!  I'm SO not amused.

The upside is that I don't have any cavities.  Woohoo.