Friday, July 23, 2010
Can you imagine...being in a relationship where you question daily whether or not your partner is attracted to you?
Can you imagine...looking at your best friend and wondering if they feel the same about you?
Can you imagine...being ashamed of saying anything out loud because it might make it that much more real?
Can you imagine...looking in the mirror every day and thinking to yourself, "this is as good as it's going to get."
Can you imagine...living with 200 pounds more on your frame than a human body was ever meant to carry?
Can you imagine...a father who disappears from his child's life for years on end?
Can you imagine...waking up each morning, sore, stiff, and wondering if today is the day that you're going to die?
Can you imagine...having the knowlege that you have never turned your partner on sexually?
Can you imagine...putting on a happy face every day, whether you feel like it or not, and pretending to like who you are?
Can you imagine...being in a sexless marriage because your partner just doesn't want to be bothered?
Can you imagine...being in love with an idea that will never come to fruition?
Can you imagine...seeing people around you in far worse shape and being so caught up in yourself that you don't see them?
Can you imagine....losing a child, either real or critter, and having the pain be so unbearable that you don't think you can move on?
Can you imagine...seeing a world through rose colored glasses, and then realizing that what you thought was real was so very, very wrong?
Can you imagine...being alone in a world where nobody knows you and you have no one to turn to?
Can you imagine...having your heart break on a daily basis because you're unable to have children?
Can you imagine...wondering if life is truly worth living when there's so much stacked against you?
Can you imagine...a mother who is more self-centered than she is caring?
Can you imagine...believing that you'll never be who you want to be?
Can you imagine...not dreaming anymore and just giving up?
Can you imagine? I don't have to. Do you?
Labels: Life
4 comments:
I'm sure it's very difficult to compile a list like this. I hope that you would print this off and take it to a therapist who could help you work thru these awful feelings.
Can you imagine...a person who loves animals more than life itself? Can you imagine being a sweet aunt to your niece? Can you imagine learning new things and being able to go to school? Life's not done with you yet. Hang in there!
Been there, done that, on about 80%.
I'm here if you want to talk.
I know you need support and I wish there was some to give it through the internet.
Your points are extremely valid, but your thought process makes me think your meds are not working. I don't mean that in a nefariuos way - you talk about them often enough - and they are supposed relieve some of this stress you are under. So I question whether or not they are helping or hurting you.
You make a lot of points in this post related to being obese - but you have to understand many, many of them are felt by people that are considered a healthy weight. You aren't alone.
A lot more people understand than you think.
ANONYMOUS...my meds are working just fine. I write this on my blog so that it's not stuck in my mind with no outlet.
However, I never said that any of these are things that normal people do not go through, as well. Nowhere in my post does it say that. This is MY blog, however, so therefore they are MY feelings.
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