Thursday, June 10, 2010
We've all heard the cliché that time heals all wounds, right? I used to believe that, but now I'm not so sure, anymore. Of course, this is referring to my niece again...I can't help thinking of her right now at this very vulnerable time in her life. I know that the direction she points herself all depends on her and what's inside...but with the environment that she's surrounded with on a daily basis, the odds are certainly not in her favor that she's going to grow up to be a successful, vibrant young woman. They just aren't. And that's the way it is. Unless she's taken out of that environment and placed into a loving, supporting one.
It is times like this that I wish my life was in a very different place than it is right now. Most others my age are settled into a life...they are where they want to be. School has been over, most have a home, a kid or two, yada yada. When you write the list down I do have many of those things...but there are so many others that I don't have. And if I DID...I'd be able to provide a safe haven for my niece in these trying times of her life. Oh who am I kidding...most of her life is trying and very few moments are good.
Is it fair that she's growing up in all of that? Is it fair that she walks in cat shit on the floor every day? Smells cat urine every day? Is surrounded by 30 cats every day? Has to deal with a drunken mother every day? It's NOT fair. But it's the hand she's been dealt. I knew that fact as soon as my sister told me she was pregnant years ago! And that's why I never wanted to become involved. My sister will not ever let me or my mom see my niece again if she finds out that we do something to send the authorities sniffing around, again. Do we risk that? For what will, quite possibly, fail anyway? For what will, most LIKELY, fail?
But then I have to stop myself....because those thoughts are selfish. Those thoughts are thinking of me. That's being concerned with what I want and not my niece's best wishes. Of course, it's good for her to have the reprieve, as well. Visits from grandma and grandpa, summers with them, phone calls with me. It's good for her to have that support system to help her when times get so rough. Right now she can't do anything...but in a few, short years, she will be able to. But in a few, short years she may not care anymore.
Time...it's an enemy in this case. My niece is a pawn in a game that my sister started years and years ago.
This is proof, to me, that a god does not exist. If one did, my niece would never be in such a situation. Nor would any other child.
I'd like to think karma will get my sister, one day. But then I think, what can it possibly do to her that it hasn't already? She wouldn't care. Nor would she even understand the comeuppance.
It is times like this that I wish my life was in a very different place than it is right now. Most others my age are settled into a life...they are where they want to be. School has been over, most have a home, a kid or two, yada yada. When you write the list down I do have many of those things...but there are so many others that I don't have. And if I DID...I'd be able to provide a safe haven for my niece in these trying times of her life. Oh who am I kidding...most of her life is trying and very few moments are good.
Is it fair that she's growing up in all of that? Is it fair that she walks in cat shit on the floor every day? Smells cat urine every day? Is surrounded by 30 cats every day? Has to deal with a drunken mother every day? It's NOT fair. But it's the hand she's been dealt. I knew that fact as soon as my sister told me she was pregnant years ago! And that's why I never wanted to become involved. My sister will not ever let me or my mom see my niece again if she finds out that we do something to send the authorities sniffing around, again. Do we risk that? For what will, quite possibly, fail anyway? For what will, most LIKELY, fail?
But then I have to stop myself....because those thoughts are selfish. Those thoughts are thinking of me. That's being concerned with what I want and not my niece's best wishes. Of course, it's good for her to have the reprieve, as well. Visits from grandma and grandpa, summers with them, phone calls with me. It's good for her to have that support system to help her when times get so rough. Right now she can't do anything...but in a few, short years, she will be able to. But in a few, short years she may not care anymore.
Time...it's an enemy in this case. My niece is a pawn in a game that my sister started years and years ago.
This is proof, to me, that a god does not exist. If one did, my niece would never be in such a situation. Nor would any other child.
I'd like to think karma will get my sister, one day. But then I think, what can it possibly do to her that it hasn't already? She wouldn't care. Nor would she even understand the comeuppance.
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3 comments:
There is no family that can take her in? You and your parents aren't able? The whole situation is so sad :( I really feel for the child.
I think you are doing the right thing, and the sooner the better... Just hope it works... Maybe God has sent you to help her. not trying to convert you lol, just how many might see it :)
Your niece is crying out for your help. As someone who grew up in a similar situation I can tell you that asking for help is incredibly hard to do. Please do SOMETHING!! If you ignore her cries she will think that no one cares. Your sister doesn't hold all the cards. You can report her anonymously. You can talk to the authorities about gaining custody of your niece yourself. You may not have much financially but you can be an anchor for this child who needs you. Please don't ignore the cries.
I've been reading your past blogs... I just feel terrible for what your niece has to go through. I knew bad things bad people existed... I guess you never really get to see or hear of the stories often though. If I knew where that girl lived I would kid-nap her and give her the love she so desperately needs. There is a God- and he is there. He uses people like you and me to do his work. Help her.
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